Good morning Internet Machine!

Did you have a nice sultry weekend? Was it full if escapades? OR ice capades? Maybe even Gravel capades? I hope it was fabulas. My weekend you ask? It was not too bad. Went to a b-day party, smoked some smokes and drank some beers oh…and was sick as a dog since last Wednesday. I feel like a bag of smashed assholes after Ron Jeremy had his way with them filming his new movie “Smashing assholes”

So what’s new with me? Um…I am starting Boxing this week. OH how I’ve missed it. I’ll be going on Tuesday and Thursdays. I’m uber stoked, and for those of you who are not up on your pigeon speaking surfer Ebonics…it means that I am rather delighted.

This coming weekend, my wife and I are heading to Nova Scotia for some tattoo action and Photoshop teaching wizardry. We’re, again, stoked (delighted) as it should be a really good time hanging out with great friends.

Well, I suppose that’s all for now, I’ll try to update you more Blogger thingy. And if I figure out how to add the Twitter machine to you…I will. Snoogy Booges…Nooge

I HATE HTML

Good morning friend,
So my brotha from a different motha mentioned that, because he lives so far away, he’s out of the loop with my comings and goings and told me to update my blog so he dosent feel outta the loop. He couldn’t be more right. Though…I’ve not been doing much?!?

So for my Brotha …This is what I’ve been up to…since (refer to blog dates) Aug 24th.

As you know..On Aug 23, I turned the illustrious 32 years old. 32 is the new red. And since then, I’ve been using my Birthday gifts as to not seem ungrateful. Purely just a show. From the Wife, I got a Sony PSP and Final fantasy VII: Crisis core. I’ve beat it through 3 times now and am going for a fourth. One of my all time fave games is the original Final Fantasy VII.

AND I can purchase it for $10 from the PSP online store. I’ll hopefully get that next week.
Also, I received a set of golf clubs from Smally, Biggy and the in-laws. Again, not wanting to seem ungreatful…I’ve been out in our field using my pitching wedge for hours each evening. Also, I’ve been hitting the old golf course or two in hopes of actually learning the sport of kings. As frustrating as it is.. I cannot help but to love it.

I’ve been in a rut with music BUT have recently come out of it with the release of Chevelle’s new album “Sci-Fi Crimes”. It is amazing. You know when you get a new album, there is usually one song on it that jumps out at you, screaming wonder and amaze….well this album has one for me. Track 3. It’s called Shameful Metaphors

my my my. What a track, no, fuck that, what an album.

jerm

Bacon Muffins at 32

Good morning Goog,
SO how was your weekend? Did you do anything fun and exciting? I don’t remember you sending me birthday condolences on Sunday BUT I’ll just pretend that you didn’t have internet access.

SO I turned the big 32 on Sunday. It kind of sucked for the first time ever aging one year. I usually love birthdays BUT I don’t know…32. I'm climbing up there. Since I was 14 or so, I’ve always said I’ll not live past 33. There was no reason for this…just something I’ve always felt. SO…I better get insurance nes pas? 1 year to go.

On my Big day, I had an amazing breakfast….what did we call them omelet Muffins? Bacon muffins? Needless to say, it was DELICIOUS. The muffin tin in lined with bacon, than omelet is poured in on top of it. Put in oven and bake. OMG…..that’s right I just omg’d , you know why? DELICIOUS.

After breakfast, I got gifteroo’s. My fave part of birthdays. I got a Sony PSP and for a game I received Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core. Fun fun fun. Also, I got Reese peanut butter balls. 2 bags. Also, I got …you wont believe this. A Golf set! An “expieranced” set of clubs, and a bran spankin new golf bag. Wasn’t expecting it at all. I never thought I’d own a set of clubs but I do now.

Any who Goog. Chat atcha lata
Sho sho
jerm

The Tooth Fairy if one forgetful bitch.

Good morning Goog,
How have you been? Is all as well as can be expected on the internet machine? What, with the copious amounts of porn and losers who do NOTING but play video games online all day…. You must be bored…But the stuff you see….Im sure you can’t burn that stuff out with an acid bath. You poor, sad, bastard.

So yesterday, went to Starbucks, as per usual, ordered a few things and began to swipe my bank card for the transaction. I picked up the key pad thingy majiggy and a tooth fell off of it. Let me say that again….A Tooth Fell Off Of IT…..let that short, random sentence sink in….I’ll wait…..are you there yet?

Now..Im sure allot of people would be disgusted and hell if it happened in the states, the patron would have sued Starbucks for emotional damages and made a million dollars, but not me Goog. I thought it was really sad. I saw it as such: a kid came in with their Mom and/or Dad, had probably lost the tooth earlier in the day and were playing with it in excitement of putting it under their pillow in hopes of becoming a few dollars richer the following morning…BUT now they have sadly left it behind and I am sure, after the realization of losing it, cried all day over the disappointment of losing one of their last few fleeting shreds of innocence. ……Or the tooth fairy, while buying a Venti Mocha could have dropped it in her rush…. A debate for the ages.

So…I’ve been in a funk for the past few weeks and just passed it off as depression/stir crazy/no more axes… But I think I put my finger on it. This Sunday, I will be turning 32. Now Goog, I know what you’re saying “But jerm, you handsome mother fucker…the 30’s are the new 20’s, your still in your prime and still have another 40 years to go” Well Goog, as your younger than me, Al Gore having invented you and global warming in the 80’s, I’ll not scoff at your youthful ignorance, wait…yes I will SCOFF SCOFF….ya fuckin fucktard.

Ya see, my problem isn’t getting older, it’s wasting the time I’ve had to use the lackluster talents that I have. Family and career aside…I’ve not published a book, I’ve not sold any art for renowned recognition, I’m not a famous tattoo artist, I have yet to learn to play guitar, and I sure as FUCK cannot figure out Sodoku ….

Now, I can blame it on my lack of drive and just being a lazy fucking slob, a sexy sexy lazy slob. I can take the onus of this all on myself, man up and take responsibility….But I choose to blame it on Whitey

lata Goog

Art Work By Patrick Byers,
Cover for our book

Spectacular like boobs

SO it has been awhile and I may have a thing or two to report, though, Off the top of my head..i can’t really recall what they may be??!!??

There are people outside right now washing the seemingly miles of windows of this building and for some reason…I can’t stop watching. It’s menial labor that can’t be very much fun, but hey…at least their outside.

So this past week? I played Golf with come colleagues(sp?) from work and actually Par’ed a hole by myself. It was a par 4, 235 yards and SHABLAZIM…I owned that hole like a pimp owns a hooker. It was spectacular. Spectacular, like morning wood that you can hang an oompa Loompa off of after he’s eaten POUNDS of chocolate. Spectacular like finding $20 in an old jacket….Spectacular like boobs….Fucking spectacular.

Also, as you are aware, I now have tattoo gear and following the sage advice of the TV and alphabits that could only say “oooooooooooo”, I tattoo’d myself. Let me tell you…tattooing one’s self is not as easy as you may think…For instance, the act or drawing or writing(who does that anymore), one typically has two hands on a piece of paper, the same goes for tattooing. You hold the machine in one hand, (my right) and you hold and stretch the skin with the other (my left) . SO with the use of only one hand as I was tattooing my left forearm….all hell broke loose. I now have a nautical star that looks as though it was crafted from hamburger and was recalled because of bot worms infesting it… jinkies.
But alas..I am happy with it as it is my first tattoo EVER and it was done with love…..and because the alphabits told me too….ooooooooooooOOOOooOOOoOoo

This weekend, Our annual work summer party takes place. Tomorrow actually and if all goes well, I should be good and plenty’d tomorrow night watching fireworks trying to remember who I sold my pants too. Fingers crossed.

I’ve got to get to work, so until next time, Be good to yourself, and each other.

Have a good one Goog,

where have I been??

Hey Goog,Have you missed me? Are you angry with me for leaving you in the dark as to my whereabouts? Are you, right now at this moment, clenching your teeth and nodding in agreement with what I say just so I’ll just shut up and leave you alone faster?? Aren’t you even going to give me a chance to explain? Instead you’ll assume that I just up and left you to fend for yourself, cut my losses and left? No no no Goog. Don’t be a douchebag, you know that’s not true…Ok…I'm sorry I called you a douchebag, you’re not, but maybe only a douche…sans bag? Yeah?

So where have I been and what has been happening? Nothing really. Since last Saturday (not the one that has just passed but the one before) I’ve been sick with a flu like symptoms. The wife and I even made the sojourne to the Sussex hospital where we were last Wednesday for about 7 hours or so. As it turns out, I had my sickness was coupled with two ear infections. I am now taking antibiotics that are what some call horse pills. They are huge..

I received my tattoo Machines last week and have been trying to practice with them. The synthetic skin isn’t the best so I’ve modified some tubes and grip’s so that I can hook a pencil up to the running machine so I can become accustomed to the weight and vibration. It’s fun but very very hard. I love it. This time next year, I’ll be blogging from a shop where I put beautiful art on people and make about a grand a day. Imagine pursuing a passion for a career?? Wow. Even the thought is exciting.
I’m sure there is something else yet I fail to remember what it is… meh.

So right now I'm reading “Let the right one in”. I love the movie. It’s truly amazing. The story is beautiful and I was really excited when I found out that the book had been translated from Swedish to English. I’ll probably read it again as soon as I finish it. Also, I’m listening to the Audio book “The Strain” by Guillermo del Toro & Chuck Hogan. I’ll probably buy this book on Friday as it is, so far, captivating.
Also…………..And none of these vampires sparkle.

Have a good one Goog,

Tattoo Gear.

Hey Mr. Machine?
How are you today? K…Enough about you! But ME? I'm rather good. ..and let me tell you why.I finally ordered new tattoo gear and I cannot wait to receive it.
· It’s 3 machines,
· 7 bottles 10ml popular colors inks.(white,yellow,red,brown,blue,green,black)power supply with LCDA fitted metal foot switch with single 1/4" plug A heavy duty clip cord, which is single plug type
· 5 grips-- 1 large, 1 medium and 3 small
· 9 stainless steel tattoo tubes from size 1-9
· 24 one-off plastic tattoo tubes in various size
· 20 pack pre-made sterile tattoo needles
· 100 ink cups and one cup holder.
· 2 practice Skin 8*6
· they are made by synthetic skin-like rubber material
· they can assist the inexperienced tattoo artist to practice holding and using a tattoo machine
· transfer or paint tattoo patterns, a transparent machine stencil can be applied or it can be freehanded with a marker or pen prior to tattooing.
· And various machine adjusted tools and parts …..
OH YES!!!!
I ordered it yesterday. It will be expedited and I should have it in a few days….This time next week, my legs will be covered, with what I can only imagine , the styling’s of a kindergarten art project. (damn lack luster art skillz)

The wife had a birthday yesterday. IT was awesome because she now has an iPhone. I don’t know what the brownie point value is there but it’s got to be at least two.
Anyway.
Have a good one Goog,

Drawing and the likes

Hey Mr. Machine?
It’s 7:55am and I'm listening to The Decemberist track “Sleepless” my gawd. To hear such passion in a voice is refreshing. You can almost hear the emotion solidifying in each word.
So my weekend was good. Ice cream, Gardening and cleaning up a wood pile. What every Saturday should consist of me thinks. Also, I got some drawing in.

I started working on a chest piece that I am considering, here is a pic. And I was also drawing…or should I say trying to learn to draw traditional roses.

The simplicity that you see when you look at traditional tattoo art is rather deceiving nes pas? Meaning that too look at it, it looks rather simplistic and easy to do but there are so many personal nuances of each artist that it really takes you a moment to figure it out. (the Decemberist is done NOW it’s White lies: see my previous entries for details)

But yeah, traditional tattoo art is fun to draw but as of right now…a little involved. Drawing a rose, I find is less easy then say drawing a Skull. The skull I have there now took all of 10 min at most? Then just a matter of shading and such.

The Gypsies is an old idea and I seem to continue to work on it. I think the remaining work will be done digitally tho… we’ll see.

So yeah, Tattoo gear will be ordered sometime this week and I hope to have a bit of drawing prowess back before it arrives, BUT until then….. Stay tuned.

jerm

A dream, a song and amovie all walk into a blog...

Hey Mr. Machine?

SO, I am getting closer to my life long dream of becoming a tattoo artist. Of course the first step in this matter would be to ….start. I’m going to be ordering new gear in a few days. 3 brass machines and a myriad of other things. So stay tuned.

Big brother starts this evening and I am in the Office pool so I hope to be victorious in the end and winning some extra cash, cause as the Great Chris Parnell said, “It’s All about the Hamilton’s Baby”. But here is Canada, it’s all about the Macdonald’s…the John .A’s . For the Pool, I was given Lydia. I can only hope she’s up to scratch and a no shit kind of girl, However, I hope she’s a conniving bitch who can get my some dollars.

SO, To music. Right now, as I type this at 7:45am, I'm listening to My Brightest Diamond and her track Golden Star . MY my my. I love this song. It’s not my fav on the album “Bring me the Workhorse” But it is a phenomenal listing. There is just something about her voice that Draws you in like a Zombie to a open wound. Some tracks…she has this sound rather reminiscent of Sarah Slean , but mixed with a 40’s lounge/speak easy/smoky blues singer. Very alluring.

Now here’s Jerm with the Movie anticipation Moment:

OK…So, as I’ve said in previous posts…”District 9” is coming out in August. I really can’t wait to see this flick. The advertising has reached Viral status with D-9 PSA’s, a School style education video and a poster campaign that is truly brilliant. It’s get’s better and better by the day and the August release cannot come soon enough. SO in the meantime, I sedate myself with watching the trailer over and over as well as the short film that this movie is based off of called Alive in Joburg Really inspiring visuals and rather seamless when it comes to blending fantasy and reality…I’ll call it Fanality. (I hope someone is logging these names and words I'm making up as they will be very usefull 1262 days.)

I feel that’s enough for today Mr. Machine, so I bid you Bon AppAdu”


jerm

De-Motivational

Hey Goog, or should I call you Mr. Machine?

It’s been a bit since we’ve chatted but as you know I was on Vaca. How was it you asked? Rainy, very rainy. BUT we, being the hardcore vacationers went camping anyway, albeit for only one night as it was TOO RAINY!!!. But we did hit Shediac and I got to go swimming in the ocean for an hour or so with a snorkel and mask. It was fun. Took a few pics (at about 6am cause I couldn't sleep) as well, here are a few….I think one is a dead body…..but or could just be a fella sleeping

So Blogger thingy…what will I tell you today? I'm thinking along the lines of motivation and how I lack it more than ever. For instance, as you may recall, a few weeks ago, I posted some drawings as I was ramping up to get my sketch on, but I’ve lost motivation for that. Writing…? Well this is the only writing I do…It’s a bit motivating but not a whole hell of use. I mean it’s not as though Showcase is going to make you into a miniseries… and when I'm at home….nada. I don’t want to do anything at all except sit.

Something’s missing in my brain that holds the key to being motivated. I have so many ideas and plans that right now seem to be delusions of grandeur only because, again…no motivation.
I was using an axe for various things, BUT they broke…that’s right, they, plural, two…. And I’ve yet to get a new handle…again…motivation. Smally got a guitar I want to learn to play, and can you guess why I haven’t? come on…one guess.

I'm starting to wonder if it’s motivation or that I'm just a fuckin lazy slob….hmmmmm….? I wonder?

Who knows…I need another project tho to keep my mind busy. I'm thinking situps. 6 weeks of 50 situps a night and see what happens. AND I’ll take pics along the way to record the progress? But maybe one project isn’t enough. Maybe I should take on the challenge of trying to think of fun things to do for Smally and Biggy (Biggy is my other son) But not only come up with the ideas, but do them with the fellas as well….? Hmmmmmm, that may be exactly what I need. That and church….I need Fellowship back to me thinks…

Anywhoo Mr. Machine…
I’ll keep you posted and you let me know how it looks.


jerm

last post for 10 days.

Happy Friday Goog
So I'm gonna try a different style of blogger thingy today….I’ll write this throughout the day as I think of and remember stuff….Im thinking more mindless bulk? Who knows…let’s give it a try.

So first is yet another link. My buddy Ivon sent me this one and I quote
”Don't know why .... but I thought of you when I found this site....LOL.......”
To say the least I was flattered. I mean, it must be the vibe I give off or something right?? Machismo?

Have you ever been in the bathroom and though of a really insightful question, an epiphany…if you will, but thought immediately that “Dammit, Old bean, you’re in the bathroom…there are no answers for your insightful question here”… BUT THERE ARE!!


I don’t know if this writing through the day will work as I actually have work to do….BUT it’s a work in progress….
I'm on Vaca next week, I’ll maybe pop in and say hi.

jerm

Website Hilarity!

Good morning Goog
How was your evening last night? Mouth breathers and lonely WOW players keeping you up all night? I betcha they were.

You know what I love?? Laughing. My Buddy Pat sent me this website yesterday morning and I’ve been laughing since. Texts from last night is FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!! Some of them, I was laughing so hard that my ab’s hurt, even through all of those layers of protective laugh proof fat, they still hurt. Here are a few nuggets of hilarity….

(504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

And
(617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

And
(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.

With witty comic book like banter such as this….IT makes ME want to stay classy San Diego. And no…I don’t mean it makes me want to be a whale’s Vagina… speaking of which…another of those wonderful texts…

(732): I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

That is Oscar wild like goodness… I mean …Come on, Funny shit.

Also, I’ve been listening to Ale3xisonfire’s new album…Wow. Not too bad at all. I love the track “The Northern”. Dallas Green’s voice makes wet.

So…short update, BUT there you are…OH, and Two for the road…

(704): she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And
(732): You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.




jerm

More nothing...Am I losing my steam??

Hey Goog
How was your evening last night? Mine was not too bad. Played the Sims 3 for a bit, did about 5 min of sketching, helped Smally with his new video game thingy, weeded the garden and a whole lotta nothing else. But the crappy thing is…My hunny is sick today. 

I have vacation coming up next and I'm looking forward to going camping. We’ll be hitting Shediac
next Thursday or Friday and doing a fair amount of swimming at Parlee Beach. I think I'm gonna need a Snorkel and mask.

Ya know…with this rain, I'm not use to being indoors doing nothing. I love being out in the yard, fiddling around with chopping, or trampoline’in, or whatever….It kinda really sucks. This weekend, I’m thinking of hitting the Bluffs with a bunch of people, or a few, AND if their all up for it, maybe shoot some pics at Quiddy falls?
Anyone?? Huh???

Any way goog, I’ll chat atcha tomorow
jerm

lazy post

Good Morning Goog,
SO , father’s day weekend. It was good.
Saturday, Up early, two beers before I get into the river for the annual canoe trip. Good times. 6 to 8 hours on the river, 12 beers, no buzz, let alone drunk. Kept pulling drunk people out of the water so they wouldn’t drown, Sang I'm on a boat about 50 times…or parts of it anyway. Had some BBQ, had too many laughs at other’s expenses and when home early as sober as when I had woke up. But that was a good thing. I could elaborate more on it, but I really don’t feel like writing today so use your imagination.

Sunday, RELAXED. Got some great FD cards and gifts, had some beers and did a whole lotta nuthin.

jerm

a whole lotta nuthin!

Good Morning Goog,
So what’s happinin in the magical world of me? Today is the last day of school for Smally… I'm really excited for him. I broke my new axe…so that’s what?... 2 in as many weeks? I now own the Sims 3 and am building a replica of my house in the game….Ummmm, what else? Some of the damn crows got into our peas and beans...Damn crows… and then there is this weekend..

SO..Annual Canoe trip tomorrow BUT it’s suppose to rain, I mean…COME ON. I wanted to make t-shirts for the occasion, inspired by the Lonely Island’s “I'm on a boat” and have some laughs. I wanted to get alcohol poisoning, tip my canoe and vomit in the river to lure in the lamper eel’s to their doom…..I wanted to stand up and pee off of the back. Well, there is always next year.

So instead we’ll party like it’s 1999…But without the paranoia of a apocalyptic Robot uprising…But I’ve not ruled out Zombies. Fuckin Zack will show up any day now.

Well…Not big updates today BUT at least youse got sumpthin bitches.

jerm

Muffin Top?

Hey Goog,
So today’s bloggy thingy McJiggy…I really have a low key humdrum life so there aren’t much musings or goings on’s….Hmmmmm….?
I split wood last night and that was awesome. I can defiantly feel the difference in all of this exercise that I’ve been doing. It’s amazing. I'm still a fat ass BUT a fat ass with a strong grip and a slightly smaller muffin top. Speaking of Muffin top….I saw a fella this morning while getting coffee who took muffin top to a whole new level. My Wife, Ryan
(my cousin) were about to pull away from Tim Hortons and low and behold a fella walks past Ryan’s SUV. He didn’t have a muffin top…he had what I claimed to be a mushroom top. It was interesting to see…. I mean…I kept thinking of Smurf houses when I saw him… Also, I purchased the Sims 3. I’ve not played it yet but it does look really good. I can choose to be evil and become a town overlord. That should be fun

This weekend is the annual canoe trip. I’m rate stoked about it. Get my canoe on, get my drink on, get some swimming on, get my vomit on… Fun for all the family. Also, there has been a little 9 hole golf course set up so I’m thinking of looking for a left handed 5 iron or some shit for the hell of it.
I’ll keep you posted. Any who.

Your quote today:
When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

jerm

Captain Spaulding is the only clown I like

Hey Goog,
How was your evening last night? Mine was pretty darn good. Remember Stump Watch? The first one? Well, all that is left of that project is grass seed. You guessed it. I’ve gotten all of the top soil that I need and now to seed, to seed, to seed. However, My Love, (who is going to Toronto….again, on our anniversary TOMORROW) may want to plant wild flowers there which would be lovely.

I’ve also, last night, discovered the beautiful and relaxing art of splitting wood. OMG… it is so satisfying… I mean, now I feel I know why executioners put so much love and devotion into their work. Bringing that hard steal down on a mass that will inevitably split and crack…..pure bliss. I would totally put the “cute” in execute!!

Also, for the maybe 5th time, I watched “ the Devils rejects ” I simply love this movie. A small town family on the run from the law. It shows the bonds and ties that bind families together..and those same bonds on the occasional cheerleader taken from the cellar. Rob Zombie is an amazing visionary when it comes to imagery and settings for film. God bless that man.
I love Otis’s quote
“Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.”

And Spaulding’s quote when he steels the car from a mother and son…
“Captain J.T. Spaulding: What's the matter, kid? Don't ya like clowns?
Jamie: [shakes head crying]
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family.
Jamie: [continues crying]
Captain J.T. Spaulding: All right, now get your fuckin' ass out the car, go on yayayayayaya


That’s Shakespeare kind of stuff right there…
While watching this, I did a lil’ doodle.

Any whoo….
jerm

Weekend Acts of God's hands.

Hey Goog,
How was your weekend on the internet machine? Mine was rather non-existent. Well…I “borrowed” some movies from some friends throughout the world AND I checked Digg.com but other than that, Nada.

We did allot of yard work this weekend. I worked in the garden for about an hour or so, planted Cauliflower, radishes, Swiss chard, cucumbers and a few other things I’m probably forgetting, BUT it was gooood. I dug up some top soil for where the stump from stump Watch use to be and added that. That was a good 2 hours and after that?? He he, We, that is to say my father in law and I, made two more stumps.

There are 4 trees in our yard that are slowly dying and we decided to help them on their way…it was the humane thing to do really. Now these trees were fucking humongous, and you all in the Google machine community know that I don’t like to drop the “H”-Bomb allot but they were HUMONGOUS!!!
Now, due to my prowess and clairvoyant skills…I know what you’re thinking…”But jerm…you should have left those trees alone to fall the way God intended them to…You bad bad man, How could you take the lives of such noble trees?” And really my answer to that is simple…Bill and I are doing God’s work. We were, NAY, are the hands of God in action…sweet sweet divine, axe and chain saw wielding action

And this is what the trees were thinking…

'Things have changed. [...] Some of us are still true Ents, and lively enough in our fashion, but many are growing sleepy, going tree-ish, as you might say. Most of the trees are just trees, of course; but many are half awake. Some are quite wide awake, and a few are, well, ah, well getting Entish. That is going on all the time.
When that happens to a tree, you find that some have bad hearts. [...] Still, we do what we can. We keep off strangers and the foolhardy; and we train and we teach, we walk and we weed.' "
(Treebeard)


Ya see there… Bad hearts . These four, these fours trees of the Eco-pocalypse are just biding their time until they will strike and smote a piece of our home, But nay I say, we destroyed two of their numbers and I feel that in time…the other two will fall.

( I shouldn’t have watched 300 on the way to work this morning)

Any whoo….
jerm

LAzy lazy update

Hey Goog, or should I call you G-Love?
I had a rather uneventful evening last night as I was so frikkin tired. I was irritable and cranky and an all around asshole. Fuckin Animal crossing…it draws me in. I feel my town would fall apart without me. Then there’s the fish…it’s August 1st in my game so I'm sure there are new fish. AND Gracie Grace has new stuff in after 2-3 months of the same ol same ol… I mean COME ON!!!! But yeah…It calls me from sleeping and lures me into a false sense of living with woodland friends, digging up fossils; catching bugs and fishing goodness… damn those cuties. AND I found out that Jitters is leaving my town. DAMMIT. I like him. He was funny. But I did get a pinwheel from the walrus in town…that was pretty sweet.
The Sims 3 is out now too. I really want to try that. It looks fun, BUT I don’t think my home PC has the sys requirements for it.

Sorry for the boring update, but what are ya gonna do?


jerm

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Hey Goog,

STUMP WATCH: Day Three
You guessed it Goog and Mr. Blogger Thingy… The stump has been redistributed into the local trees and or forest, or as we like to say..I threw it all down over the hill. Last night, the with impending rain looming, I wanted to get the stump out(TWSS) and gone. It was a bit easier than I had thought it would be. There was still the issue of the roots being entwined around large rocks and some that sunk deep into the ground, BUT I prevailed. Just like Chaz Michael Michaels, I refuse to give up. This weekend will consist of getting topsoil and grading the area.

Awesome Jeremy – 1
Bastard Stump - 0


So what shall I Blogger thingy about on this fine rainy day?? I could wax intellectual about how I have and continue to believe that Tupac is still alive , though my wife say’s I'm crazy...But here are some pics
. OR I could try to explain my theory about the act of yawning actually slowing time down and is your body’s way of holding death off for a bit longer, and again…my wife thinks I'm crazy. OR my irrational fear of December of 2012 and the end of the world ? I mean… many apocalyptic prophecies have been right in the past haven’t they ?? I have to prepare…








I’ll talk about… meh, I have nothing today. Funny Signs? or Cute animals?? or maybe The Most Eligible Bachelor of 2009 or maybe some disturbing photos?



So until tomorrow Goog.

And Tupac, if your reading this, I hope your having a great day and you still owe me $20…
jerm

Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump."

Hey Goog,

STUMP WATCH: Day TWO
So Without having the forethought to photograph this awesome endeavor of stump removal, I struggle to find the words to convey the size and girth of this stump I'm trying to remove from our yard. Hmmm..Think Ron Jeremy’s Girth coupled with John Holmes size? Wait, bad example. SO yeah, even though this thing was cut to the base however many years ago, the stump still goes about 3 to 3 1/2 feet into the ground. Some of the roots are about as thick as my thigh and what I discovered last night….The roots are intertwined with rocks…Like a twisted lovers embrace. What next?? Water fueled fire?. So let’s think of the dimensions….

3-3 ½ feet high
+
4-5 foot diameter
+
Thigh and wrist thick roots
+
dime size blisters
+
Sunburn

= AWESOME

I'm thinking it’s about the size of a smart car and weighs about 300 to 350 pounds. I’ll keep you posted



So right now, I'm listening to Video Kid. Does anyone know who that is? WELL let me tell you. Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords? that’s right. It’s Like trance/house/synth pop mixed with some folk influences. Its pretty rad. Youse in the google machine will have to have a listen. AND…I just found out about Tongan Ninja and you guessed it….That’s Jemaine Clement from FOTC in a NINJA MOVIE. Here is the trailer… I NEED TO SEE THIS. The fact that he’s the villain called Action Fighter (Marvin) says it all really. And with witty dialogue like this…

Action Fighter: And then there was this other guy... I gouged out his eyes, swapped them around, and then replaced them... as a joke!

Or

Action Fighter: So, you are the infamous Gun Man
Gun Man: That's right
Action Fighter: I hear your good with guns
Gun Man: I'm not just good; I'm the best
Action Fighter: I heard you were good. I once knew a man who was good with children. They called him; Children Man. Know him?
Gun Man: I kneecapped him and then I killed him
Action Fighter: Nice

How have I not heard about this in 7 years??… Man…I neeeed to see this.

So until tomorrow Goog.


jerm

Weekend of relaxing

Good Morning Goog,
How was your weekend? Mine was Awesome. I got my baby back from her week long stint of big city livin.
All is right with the world now. So how was my weekend you ask? Well, it was OK.
Friday I waited for my Baby to get home so that was a long night full of anticipation, but as I said, she’s back and the world can spin once more. Also, I Bought plants, fertilizer and Planted in my garden. What did I plant you ask? WELL, I planted Green peppers, Jalapeño peppers, Early Girl tomatoes, Beefsteak Tomatoes , Broccoli, Two types of lettuce and onions. All of this is just the beginning. I still have half of the garden to plant.

Saturday? I'm glad you asked? Smally went to him Nana’s for the evening to help her break in her Wii. I'm sure it was a Wii-tastic time. My lady and I chilled out at home after dropping him off and enjoyed the Beautiful sunny day. I had some beers, had some sun, and had some more beers.

Sunday, I removed a rather prickly rose bush from around a tree that I will also be removing. BUT also, I started the task of removing a humongous old stump.
I'm about 8/5 done and it’s a huge task. Again, I underestimated the task and found myself in over my head, BUT I have stick-to-it-iveness. Some of the tree roots are as big around as my thigh. The smaller ones are as big around as my forearm. So there is lot’s of choppin, lots of diggin and lots and lots of topless sweating in the sun. I guess you could say I'm actively tanning.

So needless to say, I’ll be on Root removal patrol this evening and busting my ass some more. J DAMN it feels good to be a gangsta.



jerm

Slow news day.

Happy Friday Goog,
And you know what Friday means…..? My BABY is home tonight. WHOOT. IT’s gonna be awesome. Even though it’s only been like 5 days, it seems like forever. I hate being apart from her and am now counting down the hours until her glorious return. J

So last night, I did nothing….Threw a football around with Smally and jumped on the trampoline with him, BUT other than that, nada. IT’s was relaxing

This month We have our annual canoe trip coming up. It’s on June 20th. We start in Sussex and come do to Apohaque. It’s like 6 to 8 hours full of paddling, drinking, snacks and laughs. When we land in Apohaque, we party the rest of the night away swimming in the pool, BBQ’ing and singing and maybe some poker and LOADS of good stuff. We have the option of camping or packing up at the end and heading home. Now we just have to get a canoe….
It’s the one event that I look forward to every year as I enjoy it SO much. Though this will be my 9th or 10th year, this is the 21st anniversary for it.

What else is up? I have some laundry to do tonight…. And…um….may do some choppin and raking? Um….. yeah. Now a whole hell of a lot.
Did you watch that new tattoo show Tattoo Hi-way? It’s pretty good. Thomas from H&H tattoo and that old A&E show Inked is on it. I watched the first two episodes and it was rather good. I’ll have to keep watching. Ya know it’s a slow news day when I'm talking about TV shows. I mean What the Holy?
OH yeah and Wipeout started again…it’s great as usual….. Ummm…yeah, I’ve got nuthin….

See ya Monday Goog!

My raking brings all the boys to the yard...

It’s Thursday Goog,
The Mrs. is home tomorrow night from her big city livin. WOOO HOOOO

So…what shall it be today Goog and Mr. Blogger thingy? What insights of wisdom can I instill upon the 1 and or two readers that I have? Should I discuss the rise of the Canadian Dollar? Discuss my thoughts on how Fossil Teeth Hint at Animal Adaptation to Global Warming? Or maybe something along the lines of how Bruno ass-cracked and tea-bagged Eminem at the MYV movie award and how, though we did not know at the beginning, but Em was in on it the whole time?

Maybe something like I think I finally cracked with the whole cleaning up the woods around my place. So I went in last night, axe and hatchet in hand off to do my daily due of relaxing. But upon entering the hard to find path…I started looking and said to myself “Self…it’s really messy in here..I have to do something about this” So I walked in further and was really put out by how messy the woods actually are. So I did what any crackpot, shack wacky, wife missing red blooded, precocious young 31 year old boy would do… I went and got a rake .

I raked the shit out of that place, and soon, I had piles of bracken and limbed branches everywhere. And it soon occurred to me that there were two issues with this scenario. 1. I was gonna need another rake and 2. Where would I hide all f this mess? Calling upon my guile and crafty-ness, I pondered. “where could I put the bigger mess that I’ve made?”

Now I know what you’re thinking, “But Jerm, you’re in the woods, just hide it in the woods?”
And that really is the sissy way out. I had ideas of hooking up a trailer to the bike and hauling it out to have a monumental fire, OR maybe finding a landfill…you know, the sensible options, BUT in the end faithful reader(s), I took your advice and hid the woods, …in the woods.

It was surprisingly easy. You, my faithful reader(s) have great ideas.

So Goog and Mr. Bloggy Thingy what did we learn today?
Two rakes are better than one? Stick with a daunting task regardless of the size (insert a “that’s what she said” here)? No, what we learned today was that hiding stuff can be best achieved in the most obvious places.

Until tomorrow

jerm

Mr. Black Thumb

Good day Goog,

Jeremy, Jeremy, bearded and hairy,
How does your garden grow?
I'm gonna plant some shit, just a little bit
And put lots of cow shit all in the rows.[

What do you think Goog? Poet Lauriat type of material?? I know what you’re thinking, “But Jerm, you have black thumbs, how the Holy will you be able to grow anything? Those poor defenseless plants won’t stand a chance you dumb bastard, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THE ECO SYSTEM???” Come on Goog, you know me better than that? Don’t you? I thought you and Mr. Blogger thingy knew my gardening agenda? Well I guess you don’t, thanks for paying attention, or are you too busy with all of your search engine functions to take notice of the little guy. YOU know what GOOG, You’re a CRUMB BUM!!!!!
There I said it….awwww, come on…..don’t cry….I’m sorry, I was just caught up in the heat of the moment………..Your maps are great? You do a really great job of mappin the shit out of the earth? Yeah? Smile….Hey….I GOT YOUR NOSE!!! I got it…oh. Sorry, that use to be funny. You use to laugh for hours over that Goog. But we’ll talk later. I have to update my one reader of my Mr. bloggy thingy…

SO, stoic reader(s) as you may have guessed due to my blatant rip off of a children’s rhyme, I will be planting tonight. I’m really looking forward to it for two reasons. 1. Do I have the long sought after “green Thumb”? And 2. I get to play in the dirt as an adult and not feel foolish.

My Buddy Muffin is coming by this evening for a beer or two as well and I may introduce him to the wonderful art of Chopping shit up. Being that he’s training to become an MMA fighter, ( a real one, not one like those guys who want to feel tough and say their training for it when in fact the only training they do is watch the Ultimate fighter and tell people about it) But it may inspire him to bump up his training and head into the local woods and or park wielding an axe…for exercise.

Today I have to give a presentation on Ergonomics and I think it’s good. It will consist of me talking and showing some videos and having some handouts. Here is where you Ooooo and Ahhhhhhh….well…if you saw the presentation that I’ve prepared…you would OOoooooooo and Ahhhhhhhhh.

AnyWho Goog and Mr. Blogger thingy… Until tomorrow.

Goog and me having adventures.

Good morning Google’y,
Can I call you Google’y? OR Gee to the Oh Oh Gee? Or Goog? I’ll go with Goog
. It makes me feel like we’ve know each other for years and years. Like we went to collage together and had adventures….Almost like we were the stars of the the movie Back to school But you would be Rodney Dangerfield (before he died) and I would be your embarrassed son…OR you can be the Zombie Rodney Dangerfield and I would be your Awesome super special Son who would send you out on missions. Like stealing the other University and or Collage’s Mascot, or playing pranks on the Dean
….Ooooo, that Dean…..
OR, OMG Goog, we could have gone on a cross Canada road trip to see a concert and we’d again get into adventures alng the way.

What kind of adventures you ask? Well we would probably get kicked out of a Historic Village tour, OR we would totally get Wild and crazy at a tea party with whomever.

Well…that’s our summer planned Goog, are you picking up what I'm putting down???

SO last night….I really didn’t do anything. I didn’t plant…Didn’t chop, I did work on a presentation for a workshop I have to do tomorrow, but other then that….. Nada




jerm

Im friggan sore.....

Good morning Blogger thingy,
So today is a sad day, my baby went to Toronto for the week and left me to fend for myself….I just don’t know how I'm going to cope with having my WHOLE bed to stretch out in. But really, I’ll probably just sleep on her Pillows on the floor.

So my weekend. WHAT the holy!!!! am I tired and sore, and not tired and sore in the good way, well maybe a little, BUT YIKES. Got down in the woods and did allot of chopping and re-allocating of trees and tree parts on Friday, relaxed a bit, may have had a beer…not bad, BUT then Saturday…..my OH my Saturday…..

I’ve come to realize just how much I underestimated incredibly HARD tilling a new garden is. From 8am until about 1:30pm of back breaking, labor intensive, shoulder ripping tilling. OMG!! (That’s right I totally omg’d right there) The pain really didn’t start on Saturday, I was just tired really. SO of course I sauntered down into the woods to do some more chopping with my NEW axe and hatchet.

Taking it upon myself to sharpen them both……..then after about 45 minutes realizing that I failed miserably at it and was using a dull axe and hatchet I conceded and, with a hung head, walked back out of the woods even more tired. BUT again, I wasn’t sore, just tired.

ENTER SUNDAY……HOLY SHIT was I sore when I woke up. I was sore as I walked to the bathroom, I was sore as I ate a bowl of Corn Pops, and I was sore after I got dressed and went for a smoke, BUT I was really sore when I helped my buddy Scott move into his new home for 5 hours…….I was sore

OH and did I mention that I was sore when I got home and after tilling the garden, we had to build the rows….with a hoe…..after moving for five hours……so yeah. I was/am/will be sore. 
What a great weekend it was tho. How was yours?

jerm

Damn Innuendo's

Good morning Internet machine,
Today, I am wearing a grey t-shirt with a stencil of my face painted on it. Why you ask? Because it makes me laugh. Now all I need is a moustache and a mirror and I’ll be in a fit of giggles all day. 
I found out yesterday that Billy Talent has a new album out and as I type this, I'm listening to it now. Also, Iron & Wine
has a new one out too and I’ll be listening to that one tomorrow…probably while I swing the axe, (My wife Carrie, seeing my new and improved Muscle’y forarms
, say’s “So that’s what you’re calling it these days? Swinging an axe?”) I like to think of it as treating myself as an Amusement park
, BUT swinging as axe sounds manlier….I think it’s a size
thing. Swinging a hatchet doesn’t sound as impressive. BUT needless to say, when I say I'm in the woods, swinging an axe, I’m hitting and pulling wood…..wait, I mean, I'm pulling logs and trying not to get sap on my hands….…wait…..(still sounds bad) I'm cutting and redistributing trees and tree parts.. DAMN Axe swinging innuendo….
I did a bit of drawing last night BUT have not brought it to scan…I forgot. I was thinking of scanning and posting a progression of the image but …meh, who knows. I’m almost forcing myself to draw these days and it’s a struggle, but it’s the same with writing...the only writing I do is on this blogger machine thingy. I’ll keep at it though..I need to have a consistency and something to focus on that’s not a television

jerm

Whiney Bitch

Good morning Internet,
So, how shall I begin my daily diatribe today? Positive? Quirky? Pet peeves? Yeah, let’s go with that one. One of my pet peeves is ……not having any pet peeves. DAMMIT, why can’t I be a whiney bitch about things like half of the world’s population. I mean, if I complained more I believe that I would get what I want, whenever I want, BUT Instead, I don’t complain about a whole hell of a lot and …I have everything I want….wait, that doesn’t work….? I have a beautiful wife and two great sons, a roof over my head, use of all my extremities…a great job, and great friends, an IQ of more then but not really equal to 87…I can read some and write a little, I can do maths AND remember to carry the two and have a healthy meal or two on a daily basis, I have holidays and great weekends, I can draw a little and have access to a whole slew of different varieties of music…I have a great pair of boots and a mean left hook. I'm not noticeably disfigured in any way at first glance and really am not a hideous fucking C.H.U.D in low lighting….. So..If I complained more….Would I get more? OR would I Lose most of it?
And that reminds me, how the holy do these Douchbags get away with it??

So last night, you guessed it, I wandered off into the woods again Axe slung over my shoulder, ear buds in place and began a chop-tastic adventure. GOOD times. I don’t fell healthy trees, it’s more cosmetic then anything. I take trees down that are dead but have not fallen, and take trees that have fallen and chop them into bite size pieces. IT’s rather cathardic….
jerm

Fly's arent a'scared of axe's.....TV lied to me.

Good morning Mr. Internet,

SO I suppose you want to know about my evening last night huh?? Nose'y bastards, HOWEVER, I’ll indulge your curiosity, BUT don’t think I'm this nice all of the time cause I’m NOT, and it’s not as though I have nothing better to do because I ….well, All’s I’m saying is that your probably here to hear about the latest celebrity gossip, like….Aqua is making a comeback? Or that Annie Leibovitz is Bankrupt, or maybe that celebs are against or for H8?? I don’t even know what the hell H8 is cause I didn’t read the article, just gleaned the headlines, BUT it must be good/bad if the celebs are talking about it….?

So yeah, last night, I trudged into the woods again with an Axe and hatchet and went to work. I was swinging those mutha Ucka’s like mad, HOWEVER, I think I was pissing of the the black fly’s and mosquito’s as they were attacking me. Ya ever see in cartoons when Bees swarm the silly dog because he dropped an anvil on their lil friend who was out drinking the night before and met what he thought were hookers but were undercover tranny cops.. Well, you know when the bees make shapes en mass and chase said anvil dropping dog… Well that was me in the woods, and let me tell ya…an axe is not a good way of getting rid of black fly’s….that’s all I’ll say. (and before you ask, NO they did not swarm into the shape of a sword or an axe and challenge me to a duel………)

Did some drawing last night, still working out the kinks as I don’t really know what I'm doing BUT here is the pic in question.

jerm

My day yesterday.

Good morning Mr. Google Machine,
Today, we shall talk about what?? Any thoughts?....Me? well, that’s none of your business.., no, but it was…Don’t call me that! I TOLD YOU..I DIDN”T EAT YOUR PEPPERONI!!! YA Dink!

So yeah, I did some drawing last night and it was good, not great but good. I came across this amazing artist on http://www.conceptart.org/ named Mike Butkis. (the peice on the left is inspired by his work) Wow, simply amazing artist, a banner that all artist should rally behind and learn from. I can’t get over his understanding of realism and anatomy. He’s a portrait artist, as well and an illustrator, as well as an amazing concept artist.. I’ll be watching his art for a long time. I have some of Smally's drawings as well....AMAZING stuff....

Also, in one of my sporadic whims and my forever need to get fit and in shape BUT never following though, I did some exercising last night. Now, I know what your saying, “Jeremy, you look great and awesome and you don’t need to exercise, maybe do a few sit ups once in awhile or maybe a push up or two….ok, and you may want to work on that gut and the muffin top, and your breathing seems really bad, and I see your developing some kankles, so the next thing will be a fronter where you look down in the shower and can’t see your dick….. SO Exercise huh? Good for you” I know your thinking that….

But yeah, I didn’t jog or go for a bike ride or do a push up, or even a sit up, I got an axe, some music, and went into the woods. I spent about an hour and a half just cleaning up the trails we have behind the house. Clearing up old dead logs, taking down dead trees, things like that… it was awesome….

So yeah….Same time Tomorrow??
jerm

Weekend synopsis

Good morning Mr. Blogger,
SO, what shall I impose upon you today….? Maybe how I’ve rediscovered Serj Tankian and Scars on Broadway’s albums yesterday and how I really loved them? OR how RIGHT NOW..Im listening to Staind’s new album hoping that it’ll be as good as their debut album? I could talk about how I got Steve Martin’s Banjo pickin album (yes the comedian) and it’s really good…if you like fiddelin and pickin grass roots music…yeah.


I’ll just give a brief synopsis of my weekend… Friday night……….I don’t really remember but I did mow some lawn, have some beers and jumped on some trampoline with some kind named Smally. Saturday I got to dig in some dirt and do some landscaping to make areas of the property more mow’able, and what else… Smally had a friend over, Nate, and they had some fun…you guessed it, on the trampoline. I tried a bike ride from Norton to Apohaqui. It’s about 20 km in total as the seagull flys so yeah… I did it and I’ll try it again as soon as my knee’s feel better and my ass doesn’t hut so much….. Sunday….Josh had a Cadet parade and aaward ceremony, it was awesome and won a trophy for either being really handsome or for being Too awesome… One of the two.


I didn’t draw this weekend BUT Smally did. He drew a Mario image that I forgot to bring to scan. BUT I’ll do it this evening as to not deprive all of his fans. BUT I’ll upload an old drawing of mine in the mean time.



until tomorrow

jerm

Ryans Studio

Remember a few weeks ago, I did a photo shoot because Ryan needed someone fat to pose for him, WELL, here are two images of the studio with 3 prints up.

Smally's Good time big fun drawing Mania

Good morning Mr. Blogger,


So, I got my drawing on with Smally last night and it was awesome. He drew a monster ravaging everything, poor lil blue people didn’t stand a chance after Smally gave the monster fire…. Poor poor bastards.



And I, as you may have guessed drew another monster guy/thingy/fella, BUT I didn’t draw his legs as I was unsure as to how I wanted them to look. Meh, if’s he’s gotten by this long with being an eater of all things meat, he can manage without legs….or can he…??? (insert suspenseful music here)


I think I’m gonna include some old art in here as well for no reason in particular, BUT what ones will I add?? With me there always seems to be a question with many choices. Should I add skulls? Should I add more monsters, Do I have anything that’s not either of the previously mentioned???? Shit, I don’t know…I drew a flower once many years ago.
Screw it, I’ll add skulls and monsters. You know it’s all FTW!


jerm

Drawing with Smally

K...where's that picture poster/maker button switch.....?

Good morning Blogger machine,
Well, let me see. I, last night, was again drawing. Can you believe it. After a few month drought, I’m back at it and let me tell you Blogger, it feel’s some good. I’m beginning to feel the onset of that right hand middle finger caulis, OH how I’ve missed it. It just feels so good to be back at it, sketching and scribbling in my lack-luster sort of way. So I drew a monster fella big guy thingy. I love working on anatomy, be it exaggerated or not, it’s just fun to feel the flow of the muscle and line weight fall out of your pencil.

My son Keelan and I are gonna rock out some images this evening and I can’t wait. I’ll have to post the fruits of our labor tomorrow. His and mine. He’s 8 years old and is already better then I was at 12. Keelan, who from here on out will be known as Smally, has a future in the trade. At 6 he understood perspective and now has a really good grasp of shading, (still working on highlights tho) Smally loves to draw more than me, BUT he loves the trampoline more, especially when I’m bouncing on it with him. Imagine it, my fat ass of 220 lbs and Smally’s 60 pound frame??? I make him bounce higher then I am tall and it’s funny as hell. He loves getting air, and you should see his front flips.

But yeah, I’m learning to draw, Smally is learning to draw and this blogger machine digital newspaper thingy may end up being about drawing more than writing which was my original plan… or maybe both?!?!!

Also…I’d like to give a big Shout out to MS WORD’s Spell checker. Your awesome and you help me make less mistakes.

Until tomorrow
jerm

Drawing and movies

Good morning Google Machine,
So what will the topic of interest be today?? Hmmm?? I could discuss the disgusting length my hair is getting? Hippy like in fact. I could talk about some movies I want to see this year such as,
“District 9” (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/district9/ )
OR “Must read after my death”
(http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/mustreadaftermydeath/ )
“Moon” (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/moon/ )
or…one more….
“Special” (http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/special )

These are def on my must watch list. They all look so good. District 9 puts an interesting view on prejudice and racism. “Must read after my Death” allows a look into decades of video and audio of family strife and resolve. But “Moon” and “Special” take a look at mental illness and the way the mind will fuck you over and piss on you while you’re venerable… Just watch the trailers I’ve linked to different Google machine pages.

SO, I did some drawing last night after a long slump/hiatus. I was chatting with my buddy Pat yesterday and ….he just has this knack for inspiring me to draw, or at the very least, planting the seed of interest. So I drew this monster/alien thingy and it turned out OK. It just felt good to draw. Like anything I do, by the end of it, I was sweating and out of breath…and my hand was cramped….funny, there was even a mess to clean up, but it was only eraser shavings.I’f I knew how to put pictures on the Blogger machine, I’d put it up for you all to ooooo and ahhhhh over, BUT I don’t know the secrets of it yet…
Till Tomorrow.
jerm

Wait...what does this button do...?

My 4 day weekend.

Good morning nobody in particular,How was your weekend? Mine you ask? Well, it was AWESOME.
Friday: Woke up early, Carrie and I went into town to pick up our rental, a Pontiac G5, not bad. The seats were bucket’y. I mowed some of the lawn, jumped on some of the tramampoline and had an all around good Friday.

Saturday: Hit the road for Halifax, made a few stops along the way, coffee, bathrooms and such. Got to Hali, checked into our room, dropped off our stuff, got into the elevator and there was a fella there. Red plaid pants, Black Wife beater and a Purple Top Hat. The randomness was staggering. We then got some food’eroo and then hit the tattoo convention. I felt like I had finally come home… Checked out the booths, Checked out artists, smelled some brandings going on, made me want BBQ, then stayed around for the Rob Hill Side show. It was more funny then anything. HE did the face skewer bit, the block head bit and his fire breathing was awesome. Had a boy of 6 staple a 5 dollar bill to his stomach. Good times.After that, we hit my buddy Steve’s for some BBQ and it was great. Good food, good people. That night Carrie and I hit a movie, Angels and demons, and then called it a night.

Sunday: Woke up, went for a stroll, hit the Freak Lunchbox and then made out way home.

Monday: Chilled out for a bit, Went to our good Friends Waylon and Kelly’s for some BBQ and had some laughs and some drinks and hit the road again for home. Relaxed the rest of the evening and here I am today…. Another work week…
Meh, see ya tomorrow.

Books and nothing

So, here we are, it’s Thursday, and Im off for 4 DAYS. Chill out on Friday, Tattoo convention in Halifax on Saturday, BBQ with my buddy Steve and the fam on Sunday, and Monday is still up in the air being a holiday and all. I am looking forward to the weekend tho. I look forward to getting into the “Freak Lunchbox”, the most wonderful confectionary store I’ve ever had the privilege of getting into, and also, Seeing what kind of jewelry they have at the convention. Excitement.

So yesterday, I mentioned that I’s maybe talk about books, and I know what your thinking..” Jeremy, you’ve changed your mind havn’t you?? YOU DINK!” But alas, I have not. It’s nice to see that you have so much faith in me. It’s YOU google machine that is the “Dink” as it were…are….is?! yeah.

SO, What do I like to read you ask? Well, it kind of runs the gambit of authors and genera. So I’ll just start with some Books that I really like shall I??
Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ’s childhood pal. By Christopher MooreThis is one of those books that makes you LOL and also, like movies, make you quote lines from it. You know how in the bible, Jesus goes from being a Kid to an adult in like one page? Well this fills in those 29 years that we miss out on.Jesus and Biff go on a search for the 3 wise men who had come to see him at his birth so he can learn how to become the savior. Really, to sum it up, 3 things: The creation of Sarcasm, Concubines, and Jesus and Biff become Kung Fu Masters….

World War Z: An Oral history of the Zombie war By Max Brooks (Mel Brooks’es son)This book is brilliant. Written as an oral history, it is the first person accounts of the survival of the Great Zombie Invasion. As it’s TOO much to write, but not something you should miss out on if your interested. Wiki has a shit load of stuff on it. Have a look at the cast for the audio book…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_Z

And one more…. Hmm…? Harry Potter? Septimus Heap? Artimus Fowl? LotR? Fight Club? or better Yet Survivor? Meh, who knows…BUT I have to get to work so I’ll see yas all on mon…no, Tuesday.

F*#kin mouth breathers

Good morning Google machine, I hope you slept well. Though I’m sure that you, being the internet machine would have a hard time sleeping, what with all the fuckin mouth breathers (ala Randall Graves), the drunken email sending and the query results for a wholesome Tiawana Donkey show. When Al Gore invented you, he should have thought of an off switch….BUT wait, Al Gore didn’t invent you?!?!, but he did invent global warming (so I read on a T-shirt and T-shirts don’t lie)

So the weekend is nearly upon us again, I really like how it reoccurs every 4 or 5 days, and this weekend is the Maritime tattoo convention. Should be a good do. My wife and I were lucky to get a room as there is the annual Bluenose marathon happening in Halifax this weekend too. I’ll be sure to post the results of the weekend and if I figure out the bloggy thingy, maybe a pic or two.

SO, while writing about having nothing to write about yesterday, I started to remember other old shows I loved watching as a kid. Let me lay some on you, see if your picking up what I’m putting down.

So first, I know you’ll remember “The Gummi Bears” I FUCKIN LOVED that show. I still know most of the theme song. I think I really liked those Disney cartoons, like Tailspin, Ducktails, but also other Classics such as Astro Boy (which was based in the year 2000), He-Man and G.I. Joe. I remember I use to watch when I first woke up two shows in particular. One was The Wizard of OZ cartoon that was done in the 60’s. that show was MESSED. But OH so good for a developing young mind.
Here’s the theme song for you..he he he

They're three sad souls, Oh me, oh my,
No brains, no heart, He's much too shy.
But never mind you three,
Here's the Wizard as you can see.
He'll fix that one, two, three
In that funny place called the world of Oz.

Oh the world of Oz is a funny, funny place
Where everyone has a funny, funny face.
All the streets are paved with gold,
And no one ever grows old.
In that funny land lives the Wizard of Oz.


.........................................My my my… my head is spinning…


Also, the Mighty Hercules…I still have that fawn Newton saying “Get him Hurc, Get him…”stuck in my head and it’s been like 25 years since I’ve seen that show.

These were the best shows to me as a 6 year old, back when animation was different, not all cartoons looked like American bastardised versions of Anime which floods the T.V box today. Those were the days.

But enough of that, I’ve got shit to do and pages to build. I think tomorrow, I’ll write about books. Or maybe later today.

YCDTOTV

SO the same ol. The same ol what you may ask? The same ol Overcast sky? No, the Same ol rainbow colored slinky sitting in my peripheral vision to the left? No. The same ol Jesus Christ car air freshener that smells like purification? No. …The same ol Same Ol? Well maybe? It’s the same ol same ol of what will I dazzle you with today? Well, dazzle is to strong of a word. I look at the word dazzle as though I’m watching a clown juggling 3 eggs and a pomegranate, blind folded while kittens in tutu’s circle him with cute little kitten sized torches in their mouths waiting for him to drop the 3rd smallest egg so they can blaze that fucker up…And the clown, known now at Sleeter, would be sweating and really ….really ….scared………………………he loved those kittens once upon a time.

I also attribute the word Dazzle with something like “Jazz hands” or that old show "Circle square ranch", both fucked in their own regard, but like a train wreck, you cant turn away. Do youse remember that show "Size small" with the old woman who whistled when she spoke and the dancing wagon wheel and dancing record? WTF? Or that show “The Poka dot Door”? Pokeroo was FUCKED. Come to think of it, allot of the shows we watched as kids were messed.

I really loved “You can’t do that on television” The Terry Gilliam inspired opening theme intro… The cast saying “I don’t know” and green slime would fall from the heavens and cover them. Or when they said the word 'water', the same effect but with water…not slime. I remember so many of those show’s and scenes.. There was one in particular that I always had to laugh over. The bathroom skits where the father would be finishing up and the kids would be forced to go in and try to survive the smell he left behind…well on one show, the boy, Adam Reid I think, said that there was no toilet paper left and complained to him mom. She in turn gave him 3-4 squares to use. He looked at her incredulously and said that “it was not enough” and “Mom” in her wisdom simply told him to use both sides….. NOW THAT WAS QUALITY CHILDRENS PROGRAMMING!

Here is a link to the page with the cast bio’s.
http://www.ycdtotv.com/cast/index.php?p=bios
Adam is directly below Les Lye “the man in the back” and Alanis Morissette is Bottom row, one to the right of the center if you care..

So back to my original question…What will I blogger thingy about today? Well, it's overcast today.

Well, I guess I have nothing. Maybe I will tomorrow?

A few things including a link to photos.

The weekend has come and left yet again, and yet again it found it pleasant and relaxing. Another Mother’s day has passed and gratitude and praise has been given to mothers all around the world. Speaking for myself and maybe one or two others, it really should be more then one day a year. Not only do mothers have to be patient, kind and understanding, they have to be disciplinarians, teachers and also have to put up with shitless lay about husbands. There is allot for a mother to shoulder and all we do is give them one day a year to show gratitude? BUT enough of my brownie point diatribe…

So as I mentioned, last week, I did a photo shoot and some of the many photo’s can be found here. http://shuttercreative.ca/jeremy (sorry about having to make you link to it, but I’m Google machine inept) They turned out OK, MIND you if Ryan Lavigne wasn’t such a good photographer, Im sure they’d look like shit.

This weekend, Im really looking forward to. My wife and I as well as some new friends are going to the Maritime tattoo festival (http://www.maritimetattoofestival.com/) I’ve not bee to a good tattoo festival for almost 10 years. It was the Down East tattoo convention in Portland ME. Good times. I think I had one small tattoo way back then. So cute. While there, I’ll be looking for a BRAND NEW 4 guage barbell for my septum as I believe I mentioned in my previous posts.

Well, not too much today so until tomorrow, or maybe later today… lata.

Photoshoot

SO just a short rare update today. Did the photoshoot last night with My buddy Ivon Gaudet and also Ryan Lavigne. IT was a really good time and when I figure out how to post images on Blogger, I’ll post some.

In the meantime, His website where you can view his work is http://www.shuttercreative.ca/Awesome stuff there. You’ll have to have a look.

Also, He introduced me to some new music. DJ Z-Trip. He’s a mash up artist like Girl talk but I’ve never heard him before. Really talented. Imma keep listening.

What keeps me sane through the day.

So…tonight’s the night, and no, not when the teddy bears have their picknick… When I break away from this humdrum 9-5 working existence and fly to the stratosphere…or should I say Status-phere. Modeling people….Modeling

Soon, I’ll join the ranks of Mr. Page 255 (item C) in the Sears 2008 Fun in the sun catalogue. From there I could go on to grace the alternate images for a slightly bigger, but not as widespread parent company magazine. After that, I’ll get various offers to be in local leaflets and maybe a pamphlet or two, BUT by that time, I’ll have let the fame go to my head and have turned them all down as they will be beneath me, I’ll develop a pixie stick addiction, shower even less then I do now and finally grace the pages of the National enquirer as the poster boy for hemorrhoid medication. I should get an agent to bail me out of jail when the time comes….But really…I’ll probably just have new nice photos for avatars on my blogger page or a sexy Christmas card to send to my mom.….

So today, I want to share with you something of my everyday. The internet machine and the places I visit daily. These sites make me smile and laugh and when possible …think.
First…
http://digg.com/As per the site….”Digg is a place for people to discover and share content from anywhere on the web. From the biggest online destinations to the most obscure blog"

http://pictureisunrelated.com/Various WTF pictures and funnily enoughs.

http://thisisphotobomb.com/Random people sneaking into photo’s of strangers

http://www.allornothingtattoo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2158A forum of people posting bad tattoo’s. Start at page one and just go from there. Be sitting as some are hilarious.

http://www.daisyowl.com/One of the best online comics I’ve ever read..and YES, I have read Penny arcade.

http://failblog.org/My hourly staple. I love this site so much, BUT there’s more. Along the top where it say’s “more lol’s” you can look at cute dogs and cats, funny news thingy’s and engrish goodness.

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
Now as I am in the “biz”, I love looking at photoshoped work that people fuck up so badly that it’s gets posted to a whitty blog.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
Updated every Sunday, there is some very beautiful and sad stuff here that strangers are sharing with the world. It really makes you appreciate what you have.

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead or undead, is purely coincidental.

What will I be doing this month...?

So my non-existent, faithful readers, what shall it be today? What will today’s following words mean in the end? Will their meaning reveal some lost parable or insight? Will you, in your non existence, after reading them find solace and gratitude and a sudden emergence into existence yelling Physics be dammed, I’m here, I’m quee….wait, wrong chant. But you get my meaning……….or do you? (Queue sinister music….NOW)

I’ll, I guess, just let you know what I have coming up over the next little while..? Shall I? SO to leave off from my post yesterday, tomorrow I’ll do my first modeling gig. (I guess I can’t really call it that as I’m just standing in a studio, having my photo taken. If that were the criteria for modeling, I’d have burst into the biz at 3 after I had my $5.99 Special, Sears photos taken, or when I was one or two and had my photo’s taken in the back of a van. I’m not even kidding, it was like this Mobil photo studio. Pretty state of the art for 1979…..actually…I think I saw that guy from that van on Datelines “To catch a predator…” meh.

Next weekend, I’m hitting Halifax for the maritime Tattoo convention ( http://www.maritimetattoofestival.com/ ). Should be a really good time. I hope to see allot of great art as well as pick up some new jewelry. I’m in the market for a new 4 gauge barbell for my septum. Fun’il’y enough, I lost my other barbell I had for my septum IN HALIFAX last year at the bluenose marathon… I feel the planets aligning.

Your gonna laugh here BUT……Im trying to read New Moon( well, listen to the audio book) . The second book in the twilight series (I even have the Cullen family crest wristband) and it’s boring as hell… I feel I should be embarrassed for telling you this… moving on.

What else…….?

The book I’ve written, well it’s a journal about an insane asylum back in 1880’s from the view of one of the doctors…Well, I’ve had a tickle slap of inspiration. I’m going to write a sequel, but it’ll be a narrative….mind you, I’ve been playing around with the thought of first person...but I’m still unsure.

I guess that’s it for now…..let me leave you with some one else’s words…
“Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster”
.

Something to make you LOL

So what will it be today? Again, in this attempt to hone and re-develop my writing skills, I’ll try to add a snippet here about my daily comings and goings. I sit here with my Large double double, thinking, but not really being thoughtful of my goings on’s yesterday. I did what I do every day. The same ol humdrum existence of an IT worker….EXCITING.

I could start with me coming up with a new book I want to begin, but as it’s still in the conceptual stages, I’ll not share it just yet, (but really…who reads this.) I could also go into candid detail about trying to find a cool and useful commuter bag as I need a new one really bad, BUT there is very slim pickin’s here in the little burb that is Saint John.

But I’ll start here. My good friend Ivon sent me an email yesterday asking me if I’d be interested in …..are you sitting down and ready for a laugh?... good….. Modeling. I can’t even type that out without giggling. I mean…COME ON!!!!, I’m devastatingly handsome..BUT COME ON!!!! But the ting was he was serious. (he he) So the email read..

“I have a friend that needs a male model with a bit of an edge... tattoos and such..You up for it? ... he needs an image for his studio to balance out the images on his wall...Lets just say he has on too many women on the wall....
I was thinking a shot of you ... showing your back looking over your shoulder... B&W...Anyways... he is a wizard with photoshop....”


So after being flattered a little, I really gave it some thought… and you know how famous artists go through various stages in their creativity?” working with different mediums, styles, subject matter? Picaso and his blue period? Jackson Pollock and his “Action Painting” or Pierre-Auguste Renoir and his lengthy period of Impressionist style, (mind you that was his main style but it was as I had said…a lengthy period) Well I think the photographer is going through one of those periods.

I’m thinking that it is his fat period. He may call it “Fat with an edge”
BUT needless to say, it should be interesting. I’ve never modeled with a professional before (I know what you saying..”BUT jerm…you so handsome, you’ve got to be kidding us???” ) Well Im not. And I haven’t. It's a good thing as Ivon says "he's a wizard in photoshop". I'll get him to add muscles and remove flaws and add a bigger ....erm...wait...so yeah...where was I...

SO Yeah, I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out and hopefully this time next year I’ll be able to look back on the experience and say “I wish they hadn’t laughed so hard when I took off my shirt…”

Jerm