Weekend Acts of God's hands.

Hey Goog,
How was your weekend on the internet machine? Mine was rather non-existent. Well…I “borrowed” some movies from some friends throughout the world AND I checked Digg.com but other than that, Nada.

We did allot of yard work this weekend. I worked in the garden for about an hour or so, planted Cauliflower, radishes, Swiss chard, cucumbers and a few other things I’m probably forgetting, BUT it was gooood. I dug up some top soil for where the stump from stump Watch use to be and added that. That was a good 2 hours and after that?? He he, We, that is to say my father in law and I, made two more stumps.

There are 4 trees in our yard that are slowly dying and we decided to help them on their way…it was the humane thing to do really. Now these trees were fucking humongous, and you all in the Google machine community know that I don’t like to drop the “H”-Bomb allot but they were HUMONGOUS!!!
Now, due to my prowess and clairvoyant skills…I know what you’re thinking…”But jerm…you should have left those trees alone to fall the way God intended them to…You bad bad man, How could you take the lives of such noble trees?” And really my answer to that is simple…Bill and I are doing God’s work. We were, NAY, are the hands of God in action…sweet sweet divine, axe and chain saw wielding action

And this is what the trees were thinking…

'Things have changed. [...] Some of us are still true Ents, and lively enough in our fashion, but many are growing sleepy, going tree-ish, as you might say. Most of the trees are just trees, of course; but many are half awake. Some are quite wide awake, and a few are, well, ah, well getting Entish. That is going on all the time.
When that happens to a tree, you find that some have bad hearts. [...] Still, we do what we can. We keep off strangers and the foolhardy; and we train and we teach, we walk and we weed.' "
(Treebeard)


Ya see there… Bad hearts . These four, these fours trees of the Eco-pocalypse are just biding their time until they will strike and smote a piece of our home, But nay I say, we destroyed two of their numbers and I feel that in time…the other two will fall.

( I shouldn’t have watched 300 on the way to work this morning)

Any whoo….
jerm

LAzy lazy update

Hey Goog, or should I call you G-Love?
I had a rather uneventful evening last night as I was so frikkin tired. I was irritable and cranky and an all around asshole. Fuckin Animal crossing…it draws me in. I feel my town would fall apart without me. Then there’s the fish…it’s August 1st in my game so I'm sure there are new fish. AND Gracie Grace has new stuff in after 2-3 months of the same ol same ol… I mean COME ON!!!! But yeah…It calls me from sleeping and lures me into a false sense of living with woodland friends, digging up fossils; catching bugs and fishing goodness… damn those cuties. AND I found out that Jitters is leaving my town. DAMMIT. I like him. He was funny. But I did get a pinwheel from the walrus in town…that was pretty sweet.
The Sims 3 is out now too. I really want to try that. It looks fun, BUT I don’t think my home PC has the sys requirements for it.

Sorry for the boring update, but what are ya gonna do?


jerm

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Hey Goog,

STUMP WATCH: Day Three
You guessed it Goog and Mr. Blogger Thingy… The stump has been redistributed into the local trees and or forest, or as we like to say..I threw it all down over the hill. Last night, the with impending rain looming, I wanted to get the stump out(TWSS) and gone. It was a bit easier than I had thought it would be. There was still the issue of the roots being entwined around large rocks and some that sunk deep into the ground, BUT I prevailed. Just like Chaz Michael Michaels, I refuse to give up. This weekend will consist of getting topsoil and grading the area.

Awesome Jeremy – 1
Bastard Stump - 0


So what shall I Blogger thingy about on this fine rainy day?? I could wax intellectual about how I have and continue to believe that Tupac is still alive , though my wife say’s I'm crazy...But here are some pics
. OR I could try to explain my theory about the act of yawning actually slowing time down and is your body’s way of holding death off for a bit longer, and again…my wife thinks I'm crazy. OR my irrational fear of December of 2012 and the end of the world ? I mean… many apocalyptic prophecies have been right in the past haven’t they ?? I have to prepare…








I’ll talk about… meh, I have nothing today. Funny Signs? or Cute animals?? or maybe The Most Eligible Bachelor of 2009 or maybe some disturbing photos?



So until tomorrow Goog.

And Tupac, if your reading this, I hope your having a great day and you still owe me $20…
jerm

Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump."

Hey Goog,

STUMP WATCH: Day TWO
So Without having the forethought to photograph this awesome endeavor of stump removal, I struggle to find the words to convey the size and girth of this stump I'm trying to remove from our yard. Hmmm..Think Ron Jeremy’s Girth coupled with John Holmes size? Wait, bad example. SO yeah, even though this thing was cut to the base however many years ago, the stump still goes about 3 to 3 1/2 feet into the ground. Some of the roots are about as thick as my thigh and what I discovered last night….The roots are intertwined with rocks…Like a twisted lovers embrace. What next?? Water fueled fire?. So let’s think of the dimensions….

3-3 ½ feet high
+
4-5 foot diameter
+
Thigh and wrist thick roots
+
dime size blisters
+
Sunburn

= AWESOME

I'm thinking it’s about the size of a smart car and weighs about 300 to 350 pounds. I’ll keep you posted



So right now, I'm listening to Video Kid. Does anyone know who that is? WELL let me tell you. Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords? that’s right. It’s Like trance/house/synth pop mixed with some folk influences. Its pretty rad. Youse in the google machine will have to have a listen. AND…I just found out about Tongan Ninja and you guessed it….That’s Jemaine Clement from FOTC in a NINJA MOVIE. Here is the trailer… I NEED TO SEE THIS. The fact that he’s the villain called Action Fighter (Marvin) says it all really. And with witty dialogue like this…

Action Fighter: And then there was this other guy... I gouged out his eyes, swapped them around, and then replaced them... as a joke!

Or

Action Fighter: So, you are the infamous Gun Man
Gun Man: That's right
Action Fighter: I hear your good with guns
Gun Man: I'm not just good; I'm the best
Action Fighter: I heard you were good. I once knew a man who was good with children. They called him; Children Man. Know him?
Gun Man: I kneecapped him and then I killed him
Action Fighter: Nice

How have I not heard about this in 7 years??… Man…I neeeed to see this.

So until tomorrow Goog.


jerm

Weekend of relaxing

Good Morning Goog,
How was your weekend? Mine was Awesome. I got my baby back from her week long stint of big city livin.
All is right with the world now. So how was my weekend you ask? Well, it was OK.
Friday I waited for my Baby to get home so that was a long night full of anticipation, but as I said, she’s back and the world can spin once more. Also, I Bought plants, fertilizer and Planted in my garden. What did I plant you ask? WELL, I planted Green peppers, Jalapeño peppers, Early Girl tomatoes, Beefsteak Tomatoes , Broccoli, Two types of lettuce and onions. All of this is just the beginning. I still have half of the garden to plant.

Saturday? I'm glad you asked? Smally went to him Nana’s for the evening to help her break in her Wii. I'm sure it was a Wii-tastic time. My lady and I chilled out at home after dropping him off and enjoyed the Beautiful sunny day. I had some beers, had some sun, and had some more beers.

Sunday, I removed a rather prickly rose bush from around a tree that I will also be removing. BUT also, I started the task of removing a humongous old stump.
I'm about 8/5 done and it’s a huge task. Again, I underestimated the task and found myself in over my head, BUT I have stick-to-it-iveness. Some of the tree roots are as big around as my thigh. The smaller ones are as big around as my forearm. So there is lot’s of choppin, lots of diggin and lots and lots of topless sweating in the sun. I guess you could say I'm actively tanning.

So needless to say, I’ll be on Root removal patrol this evening and busting my ass some more. J DAMN it feels good to be a gangsta.



jerm

Slow news day.

Happy Friday Goog,
And you know what Friday means…..? My BABY is home tonight. WHOOT. IT’s gonna be awesome. Even though it’s only been like 5 days, it seems like forever. I hate being apart from her and am now counting down the hours until her glorious return. J

So last night, I did nothing….Threw a football around with Smally and jumped on the trampoline with him, BUT other than that, nada. IT’s was relaxing

This month We have our annual canoe trip coming up. It’s on June 20th. We start in Sussex and come do to Apohaque. It’s like 6 to 8 hours full of paddling, drinking, snacks and laughs. When we land in Apohaque, we party the rest of the night away swimming in the pool, BBQ’ing and singing and maybe some poker and LOADS of good stuff. We have the option of camping or packing up at the end and heading home. Now we just have to get a canoe….
It’s the one event that I look forward to every year as I enjoy it SO much. Though this will be my 9th or 10th year, this is the 21st anniversary for it.

What else is up? I have some laundry to do tonight…. And…um….may do some choppin and raking? Um….. yeah. Now a whole hell of a lot.
Did you watch that new tattoo show Tattoo Hi-way? It’s pretty good. Thomas from H&H tattoo and that old A&E show Inked is on it. I watched the first two episodes and it was rather good. I’ll have to keep watching. Ya know it’s a slow news day when I'm talking about TV shows. I mean What the Holy?
OH yeah and Wipeout started again…it’s great as usual….. Ummm…yeah, I’ve got nuthin….

See ya Monday Goog!

My raking brings all the boys to the yard...

It’s Thursday Goog,
The Mrs. is home tomorrow night from her big city livin. WOOO HOOOO

So…what shall it be today Goog and Mr. Blogger thingy? What insights of wisdom can I instill upon the 1 and or two readers that I have? Should I discuss the rise of the Canadian Dollar? Discuss my thoughts on how Fossil Teeth Hint at Animal Adaptation to Global Warming? Or maybe something along the lines of how Bruno ass-cracked and tea-bagged Eminem at the MYV movie award and how, though we did not know at the beginning, but Em was in on it the whole time?

Maybe something like I think I finally cracked with the whole cleaning up the woods around my place. So I went in last night, axe and hatchet in hand off to do my daily due of relaxing. But upon entering the hard to find path…I started looking and said to myself “Self…it’s really messy in here..I have to do something about this” So I walked in further and was really put out by how messy the woods actually are. So I did what any crackpot, shack wacky, wife missing red blooded, precocious young 31 year old boy would do… I went and got a rake .

I raked the shit out of that place, and soon, I had piles of bracken and limbed branches everywhere. And it soon occurred to me that there were two issues with this scenario. 1. I was gonna need another rake and 2. Where would I hide all f this mess? Calling upon my guile and crafty-ness, I pondered. “where could I put the bigger mess that I’ve made?”

Now I know what you’re thinking, “But Jerm, you’re in the woods, just hide it in the woods?”
And that really is the sissy way out. I had ideas of hooking up a trailer to the bike and hauling it out to have a monumental fire, OR maybe finding a landfill…you know, the sensible options, BUT in the end faithful reader(s), I took your advice and hid the woods, …in the woods.

It was surprisingly easy. You, my faithful reader(s) have great ideas.

So Goog and Mr. Bloggy Thingy what did we learn today?
Two rakes are better than one? Stick with a daunting task regardless of the size (insert a “that’s what she said” here)? No, what we learned today was that hiding stuff can be best achieved in the most obvious places.

Until tomorrow

jerm