Mr. Black Thumb

Good day Goog,

Jeremy, Jeremy, bearded and hairy,
How does your garden grow?
I'm gonna plant some shit, just a little bit
And put lots of cow shit all in the rows.[

What do you think Goog? Poet Lauriat type of material?? I know what you’re thinking, “But Jerm, you have black thumbs, how the Holy will you be able to grow anything? Those poor defenseless plants won’t stand a chance you dumb bastard, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THE ECO SYSTEM???” Come on Goog, you know me better than that? Don’t you? I thought you and Mr. Blogger thingy knew my gardening agenda? Well I guess you don’t, thanks for paying attention, or are you too busy with all of your search engine functions to take notice of the little guy. YOU know what GOOG, You’re a CRUMB BUM!!!!!
There I said it….awwww, come on…..don’t cry….I’m sorry, I was just caught up in the heat of the moment………..Your maps are great? You do a really great job of mappin the shit out of the earth? Yeah? Smile….Hey….I GOT YOUR NOSE!!! I got it…oh. Sorry, that use to be funny. You use to laugh for hours over that Goog. But we’ll talk later. I have to update my one reader of my Mr. bloggy thingy…

SO, stoic reader(s) as you may have guessed due to my blatant rip off of a children’s rhyme, I will be planting tonight. I’m really looking forward to it for two reasons. 1. Do I have the long sought after “green Thumb”? And 2. I get to play in the dirt as an adult and not feel foolish.

My Buddy Muffin is coming by this evening for a beer or two as well and I may introduce him to the wonderful art of Chopping shit up. Being that he’s training to become an MMA fighter, ( a real one, not one like those guys who want to feel tough and say their training for it when in fact the only training they do is watch the Ultimate fighter and tell people about it) But it may inspire him to bump up his training and head into the local woods and or park wielding an axe…for exercise.

Today I have to give a presentation on Ergonomics and I think it’s good. It will consist of me talking and showing some videos and having some handouts. Here is where you Ooooo and Ahhhhhhh….well…if you saw the presentation that I’ve prepared…you would OOoooooooo and Ahhhhhhhhh.

AnyWho Goog and Mr. Blogger thingy… Until tomorrow.

Goog and me having adventures.

Good morning Google’y,
Can I call you Google’y? OR Gee to the Oh Oh Gee? Or Goog? I’ll go with Goog
. It makes me feel like we’ve know each other for years and years. Like we went to collage together and had adventures….Almost like we were the stars of the the movie Back to school But you would be Rodney Dangerfield (before he died) and I would be your embarrassed son…OR you can be the Zombie Rodney Dangerfield and I would be your Awesome super special Son who would send you out on missions. Like stealing the other University and or Collage’s Mascot, or playing pranks on the Dean
….Ooooo, that Dean…..
OR, OMG Goog, we could have gone on a cross Canada road trip to see a concert and we’d again get into adventures alng the way.

What kind of adventures you ask? Well we would probably get kicked out of a Historic Village tour, OR we would totally get Wild and crazy at a tea party with whomever.

Well…that’s our summer planned Goog, are you picking up what I'm putting down???

SO last night….I really didn’t do anything. I didn’t plant…Didn’t chop, I did work on a presentation for a workshop I have to do tomorrow, but other then that….. Nada




jerm

Im friggan sore.....

Good morning Blogger thingy,
So today is a sad day, my baby went to Toronto for the week and left me to fend for myself….I just don’t know how I'm going to cope with having my WHOLE bed to stretch out in. But really, I’ll probably just sleep on her Pillows on the floor.

So my weekend. WHAT the holy!!!! am I tired and sore, and not tired and sore in the good way, well maybe a little, BUT YIKES. Got down in the woods and did allot of chopping and re-allocating of trees and tree parts on Friday, relaxed a bit, may have had a beer…not bad, BUT then Saturday…..my OH my Saturday…..

I’ve come to realize just how much I underestimated incredibly HARD tilling a new garden is. From 8am until about 1:30pm of back breaking, labor intensive, shoulder ripping tilling. OMG!! (That’s right I totally omg’d right there) The pain really didn’t start on Saturday, I was just tired really. SO of course I sauntered down into the woods to do some more chopping with my NEW axe and hatchet.

Taking it upon myself to sharpen them both……..then after about 45 minutes realizing that I failed miserably at it and was using a dull axe and hatchet I conceded and, with a hung head, walked back out of the woods even more tired. BUT again, I wasn’t sore, just tired.

ENTER SUNDAY……HOLY SHIT was I sore when I woke up. I was sore as I walked to the bathroom, I was sore as I ate a bowl of Corn Pops, and I was sore after I got dressed and went for a smoke, BUT I was really sore when I helped my buddy Scott move into his new home for 5 hours…….I was sore

OH and did I mention that I was sore when I got home and after tilling the garden, we had to build the rows….with a hoe…..after moving for five hours……so yeah. I was/am/will be sore. 
What a great weekend it was tho. How was yours?

jerm

Damn Innuendo's

Good morning Internet machine,
Today, I am wearing a grey t-shirt with a stencil of my face painted on it. Why you ask? Because it makes me laugh. Now all I need is a moustache and a mirror and I’ll be in a fit of giggles all day. 
I found out yesterday that Billy Talent has a new album out and as I type this, I'm listening to it now. Also, Iron & Wine
has a new one out too and I’ll be listening to that one tomorrow…probably while I swing the axe, (My wife Carrie, seeing my new and improved Muscle’y forarms
, say’s “So that’s what you’re calling it these days? Swinging an axe?”) I like to think of it as treating myself as an Amusement park
, BUT swinging as axe sounds manlier….I think it’s a size
thing. Swinging a hatchet doesn’t sound as impressive. BUT needless to say, when I say I'm in the woods, swinging an axe, I’m hitting and pulling wood…..wait, I mean, I'm pulling logs and trying not to get sap on my hands….…wait…..(still sounds bad) I'm cutting and redistributing trees and tree parts.. DAMN Axe swinging innuendo….
I did a bit of drawing last night BUT have not brought it to scan…I forgot. I was thinking of scanning and posting a progression of the image but …meh, who knows. I’m almost forcing myself to draw these days and it’s a struggle, but it’s the same with writing...the only writing I do is on this blogger machine thingy. I’ll keep at it though..I need to have a consistency and something to focus on that’s not a television

jerm

Whiney Bitch

Good morning Internet,
So, how shall I begin my daily diatribe today? Positive? Quirky? Pet peeves? Yeah, let’s go with that one. One of my pet peeves is ……not having any pet peeves. DAMMIT, why can’t I be a whiney bitch about things like half of the world’s population. I mean, if I complained more I believe that I would get what I want, whenever I want, BUT Instead, I don’t complain about a whole hell of a lot and …I have everything I want….wait, that doesn’t work….? I have a beautiful wife and two great sons, a roof over my head, use of all my extremities…a great job, and great friends, an IQ of more then but not really equal to 87…I can read some and write a little, I can do maths AND remember to carry the two and have a healthy meal or two on a daily basis, I have holidays and great weekends, I can draw a little and have access to a whole slew of different varieties of music…I have a great pair of boots and a mean left hook. I'm not noticeably disfigured in any way at first glance and really am not a hideous fucking C.H.U.D in low lighting….. So..If I complained more….Would I get more? OR would I Lose most of it?
And that reminds me, how the holy do these Douchbags get away with it??

So last night, you guessed it, I wandered off into the woods again Axe slung over my shoulder, ear buds in place and began a chop-tastic adventure. GOOD times. I don’t fell healthy trees, it’s more cosmetic then anything. I take trees down that are dead but have not fallen, and take trees that have fallen and chop them into bite size pieces. IT’s rather cathardic….
jerm

Fly's arent a'scared of axe's.....TV lied to me.

Good morning Mr. Internet,

SO I suppose you want to know about my evening last night huh?? Nose'y bastards, HOWEVER, I’ll indulge your curiosity, BUT don’t think I'm this nice all of the time cause I’m NOT, and it’s not as though I have nothing better to do because I ….well, All’s I’m saying is that your probably here to hear about the latest celebrity gossip, like….Aqua is making a comeback? Or that Annie Leibovitz is Bankrupt, or maybe that celebs are against or for H8?? I don’t even know what the hell H8 is cause I didn’t read the article, just gleaned the headlines, BUT it must be good/bad if the celebs are talking about it….?

So yeah, last night, I trudged into the woods again with an Axe and hatchet and went to work. I was swinging those mutha Ucka’s like mad, HOWEVER, I think I was pissing of the the black fly’s and mosquito’s as they were attacking me. Ya ever see in cartoons when Bees swarm the silly dog because he dropped an anvil on their lil friend who was out drinking the night before and met what he thought were hookers but were undercover tranny cops.. Well, you know when the bees make shapes en mass and chase said anvil dropping dog… Well that was me in the woods, and let me tell ya…an axe is not a good way of getting rid of black fly’s….that’s all I’ll say. (and before you ask, NO they did not swarm into the shape of a sword or an axe and challenge me to a duel………)

Did some drawing last night, still working out the kinks as I don’t really know what I'm doing BUT here is the pic in question.

jerm

My day yesterday.

Good morning Mr. Google Machine,
Today, we shall talk about what?? Any thoughts?....Me? well, that’s none of your business.., no, but it was…Don’t call me that! I TOLD YOU..I DIDN”T EAT YOUR PEPPERONI!!! YA Dink!

So yeah, I did some drawing last night and it was good, not great but good. I came across this amazing artist on http://www.conceptart.org/ named Mike Butkis. (the peice on the left is inspired by his work) Wow, simply amazing artist, a banner that all artist should rally behind and learn from. I can’t get over his understanding of realism and anatomy. He’s a portrait artist, as well and an illustrator, as well as an amazing concept artist.. I’ll be watching his art for a long time. I have some of Smally's drawings as well....AMAZING stuff....

Also, in one of my sporadic whims and my forever need to get fit and in shape BUT never following though, I did some exercising last night. Now, I know what your saying, “Jeremy, you look great and awesome and you don’t need to exercise, maybe do a few sit ups once in awhile or maybe a push up or two….ok, and you may want to work on that gut and the muffin top, and your breathing seems really bad, and I see your developing some kankles, so the next thing will be a fronter where you look down in the shower and can’t see your dick….. SO Exercise huh? Good for you” I know your thinking that….

But yeah, I didn’t jog or go for a bike ride or do a push up, or even a sit up, I got an axe, some music, and went into the woods. I spent about an hour and a half just cleaning up the trails we have behind the house. Clearing up old dead logs, taking down dead trees, things like that… it was awesome….

So yeah….Same time Tomorrow??
jerm