F*#kin mouth breathers

Good morning Google machine, I hope you slept well. Though I’m sure that you, being the internet machine would have a hard time sleeping, what with all the fuckin mouth breathers (ala Randall Graves), the drunken email sending and the query results for a wholesome Tiawana Donkey show. When Al Gore invented you, he should have thought of an off switch….BUT wait, Al Gore didn’t invent you?!?!, but he did invent global warming (so I read on a T-shirt and T-shirts don’t lie)

So the weekend is nearly upon us again, I really like how it reoccurs every 4 or 5 days, and this weekend is the Maritime tattoo convention. Should be a good do. My wife and I were lucky to get a room as there is the annual Bluenose marathon happening in Halifax this weekend too. I’ll be sure to post the results of the weekend and if I figure out the bloggy thingy, maybe a pic or two.

SO, while writing about having nothing to write about yesterday, I started to remember other old shows I loved watching as a kid. Let me lay some on you, see if your picking up what I’m putting down.

So first, I know you’ll remember “The Gummi Bears” I FUCKIN LOVED that show. I still know most of the theme song. I think I really liked those Disney cartoons, like Tailspin, Ducktails, but also other Classics such as Astro Boy (which was based in the year 2000), He-Man and G.I. Joe. I remember I use to watch when I first woke up two shows in particular. One was The Wizard of OZ cartoon that was done in the 60’s. that show was MESSED. But OH so good for a developing young mind.
Here’s the theme song for you..he he he

They're three sad souls, Oh me, oh my,
No brains, no heart, He's much too shy.
But never mind you three,
Here's the Wizard as you can see.
He'll fix that one, two, three
In that funny place called the world of Oz.

Oh the world of Oz is a funny, funny place
Where everyone has a funny, funny face.
All the streets are paved with gold,
And no one ever grows old.
In that funny land lives the Wizard of Oz.


.........................................My my my… my head is spinning…


Also, the Mighty Hercules…I still have that fawn Newton saying “Get him Hurc, Get him…”stuck in my head and it’s been like 25 years since I’ve seen that show.

These were the best shows to me as a 6 year old, back when animation was different, not all cartoons looked like American bastardised versions of Anime which floods the T.V box today. Those were the days.

But enough of that, I’ve got shit to do and pages to build. I think tomorrow, I’ll write about books. Or maybe later today.

YCDTOTV

SO the same ol. The same ol what you may ask? The same ol Overcast sky? No, the Same ol rainbow colored slinky sitting in my peripheral vision to the left? No. The same ol Jesus Christ car air freshener that smells like purification? No. …The same ol Same Ol? Well maybe? It’s the same ol same ol of what will I dazzle you with today? Well, dazzle is to strong of a word. I look at the word dazzle as though I’m watching a clown juggling 3 eggs and a pomegranate, blind folded while kittens in tutu’s circle him with cute little kitten sized torches in their mouths waiting for him to drop the 3rd smallest egg so they can blaze that fucker up…And the clown, known now at Sleeter, would be sweating and really ….really ….scared………………………he loved those kittens once upon a time.

I also attribute the word Dazzle with something like “Jazz hands” or that old show "Circle square ranch", both fucked in their own regard, but like a train wreck, you cant turn away. Do youse remember that show "Size small" with the old woman who whistled when she spoke and the dancing wagon wheel and dancing record? WTF? Or that show “The Poka dot Door”? Pokeroo was FUCKED. Come to think of it, allot of the shows we watched as kids were messed.

I really loved “You can’t do that on television” The Terry Gilliam inspired opening theme intro… The cast saying “I don’t know” and green slime would fall from the heavens and cover them. Or when they said the word 'water', the same effect but with water…not slime. I remember so many of those show’s and scenes.. There was one in particular that I always had to laugh over. The bathroom skits where the father would be finishing up and the kids would be forced to go in and try to survive the smell he left behind…well on one show, the boy, Adam Reid I think, said that there was no toilet paper left and complained to him mom. She in turn gave him 3-4 squares to use. He looked at her incredulously and said that “it was not enough” and “Mom” in her wisdom simply told him to use both sides….. NOW THAT WAS QUALITY CHILDRENS PROGRAMMING!

Here is a link to the page with the cast bio’s.
http://www.ycdtotv.com/cast/index.php?p=bios
Adam is directly below Les Lye “the man in the back” and Alanis Morissette is Bottom row, one to the right of the center if you care..

So back to my original question…What will I blogger thingy about today? Well, it's overcast today.

Well, I guess I have nothing. Maybe I will tomorrow?

A few things including a link to photos.

The weekend has come and left yet again, and yet again it found it pleasant and relaxing. Another Mother’s day has passed and gratitude and praise has been given to mothers all around the world. Speaking for myself and maybe one or two others, it really should be more then one day a year. Not only do mothers have to be patient, kind and understanding, they have to be disciplinarians, teachers and also have to put up with shitless lay about husbands. There is allot for a mother to shoulder and all we do is give them one day a year to show gratitude? BUT enough of my brownie point diatribe…

So as I mentioned, last week, I did a photo shoot and some of the many photo’s can be found here. http://shuttercreative.ca/jeremy (sorry about having to make you link to it, but I’m Google machine inept) They turned out OK, MIND you if Ryan Lavigne wasn’t such a good photographer, Im sure they’d look like shit.

This weekend, Im really looking forward to. My wife and I as well as some new friends are going to the Maritime tattoo festival (http://www.maritimetattoofestival.com/) I’ve not bee to a good tattoo festival for almost 10 years. It was the Down East tattoo convention in Portland ME. Good times. I think I had one small tattoo way back then. So cute. While there, I’ll be looking for a BRAND NEW 4 guage barbell for my septum as I believe I mentioned in my previous posts.

Well, not too much today so until tomorrow, or maybe later today… lata.

Photoshoot

SO just a short rare update today. Did the photoshoot last night with My buddy Ivon Gaudet and also Ryan Lavigne. IT was a really good time and when I figure out how to post images on Blogger, I’ll post some.

In the meantime, His website where you can view his work is http://www.shuttercreative.ca/Awesome stuff there. You’ll have to have a look.

Also, He introduced me to some new music. DJ Z-Trip. He’s a mash up artist like Girl talk but I’ve never heard him before. Really talented. Imma keep listening.

What keeps me sane through the day.

So…tonight’s the night, and no, not when the teddy bears have their picknick… When I break away from this humdrum 9-5 working existence and fly to the stratosphere…or should I say Status-phere. Modeling people….Modeling

Soon, I’ll join the ranks of Mr. Page 255 (item C) in the Sears 2008 Fun in the sun catalogue. From there I could go on to grace the alternate images for a slightly bigger, but not as widespread parent company magazine. After that, I’ll get various offers to be in local leaflets and maybe a pamphlet or two, BUT by that time, I’ll have let the fame go to my head and have turned them all down as they will be beneath me, I’ll develop a pixie stick addiction, shower even less then I do now and finally grace the pages of the National enquirer as the poster boy for hemorrhoid medication. I should get an agent to bail me out of jail when the time comes….But really…I’ll probably just have new nice photos for avatars on my blogger page or a sexy Christmas card to send to my mom.….

So today, I want to share with you something of my everyday. The internet machine and the places I visit daily. These sites make me smile and laugh and when possible …think.
First…
http://digg.com/As per the site….”Digg is a place for people to discover and share content from anywhere on the web. From the biggest online destinations to the most obscure blog"

http://pictureisunrelated.com/Various WTF pictures and funnily enoughs.

http://thisisphotobomb.com/Random people sneaking into photo’s of strangers

http://www.allornothingtattoo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2158A forum of people posting bad tattoo’s. Start at page one and just go from there. Be sitting as some are hilarious.

http://www.daisyowl.com/One of the best online comics I’ve ever read..and YES, I have read Penny arcade.

http://failblog.org/My hourly staple. I love this site so much, BUT there’s more. Along the top where it say’s “more lol’s” you can look at cute dogs and cats, funny news thingy’s and engrish goodness.

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
Now as I am in the “biz”, I love looking at photoshoped work that people fuck up so badly that it’s gets posted to a whitty blog.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
Updated every Sunday, there is some very beautiful and sad stuff here that strangers are sharing with the world. It really makes you appreciate what you have.

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead or undead, is purely coincidental.

What will I be doing this month...?

So my non-existent, faithful readers, what shall it be today? What will today’s following words mean in the end? Will their meaning reveal some lost parable or insight? Will you, in your non existence, after reading them find solace and gratitude and a sudden emergence into existence yelling Physics be dammed, I’m here, I’m quee….wait, wrong chant. But you get my meaning……….or do you? (Queue sinister music….NOW)

I’ll, I guess, just let you know what I have coming up over the next little while..? Shall I? SO to leave off from my post yesterday, tomorrow I’ll do my first modeling gig. (I guess I can’t really call it that as I’m just standing in a studio, having my photo taken. If that were the criteria for modeling, I’d have burst into the biz at 3 after I had my $5.99 Special, Sears photos taken, or when I was one or two and had my photo’s taken in the back of a van. I’m not even kidding, it was like this Mobil photo studio. Pretty state of the art for 1979…..actually…I think I saw that guy from that van on Datelines “To catch a predator…” meh.

Next weekend, I’m hitting Halifax for the maritime Tattoo convention ( http://www.maritimetattoofestival.com/ ). Should be a really good time. I hope to see allot of great art as well as pick up some new jewelry. I’m in the market for a new 4 gauge barbell for my septum. Fun’il’y enough, I lost my other barbell I had for my septum IN HALIFAX last year at the bluenose marathon… I feel the planets aligning.

Your gonna laugh here BUT……Im trying to read New Moon( well, listen to the audio book) . The second book in the twilight series (I even have the Cullen family crest wristband) and it’s boring as hell… I feel I should be embarrassed for telling you this… moving on.

What else…….?

The book I’ve written, well it’s a journal about an insane asylum back in 1880’s from the view of one of the doctors…Well, I’ve had a tickle slap of inspiration. I’m going to write a sequel, but it’ll be a narrative….mind you, I’ve been playing around with the thought of first person...but I’m still unsure.

I guess that’s it for now…..let me leave you with some one else’s words…
“Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster”
.

Something to make you LOL

So what will it be today? Again, in this attempt to hone and re-develop my writing skills, I’ll try to add a snippet here about my daily comings and goings. I sit here with my Large double double, thinking, but not really being thoughtful of my goings on’s yesterday. I did what I do every day. The same ol humdrum existence of an IT worker….EXCITING.

I could start with me coming up with a new book I want to begin, but as it’s still in the conceptual stages, I’ll not share it just yet, (but really…who reads this.) I could also go into candid detail about trying to find a cool and useful commuter bag as I need a new one really bad, BUT there is very slim pickin’s here in the little burb that is Saint John.

But I’ll start here. My good friend Ivon sent me an email yesterday asking me if I’d be interested in …..are you sitting down and ready for a laugh?... good….. Modeling. I can’t even type that out without giggling. I mean…COME ON!!!!, I’m devastatingly handsome..BUT COME ON!!!! But the ting was he was serious. (he he) So the email read..

“I have a friend that needs a male model with a bit of an edge... tattoos and such..You up for it? ... he needs an image for his studio to balance out the images on his wall...Lets just say he has on too many women on the wall....
I was thinking a shot of you ... showing your back looking over your shoulder... B&W...Anyways... he is a wizard with photoshop....”


So after being flattered a little, I really gave it some thought… and you know how famous artists go through various stages in their creativity?” working with different mediums, styles, subject matter? Picaso and his blue period? Jackson Pollock and his “Action Painting” or Pierre-Auguste Renoir and his lengthy period of Impressionist style, (mind you that was his main style but it was as I had said…a lengthy period) Well I think the photographer is going through one of those periods.

I’m thinking that it is his fat period. He may call it “Fat with an edge”
BUT needless to say, it should be interesting. I’ve never modeled with a professional before (I know what you saying..”BUT jerm…you so handsome, you’ve got to be kidding us???” ) Well Im not. And I haven’t. It's a good thing as Ivon says "he's a wizard in photoshop". I'll get him to add muscles and remove flaws and add a bigger ....erm...wait...so yeah...where was I...

SO Yeah, I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out and hopefully this time next year I’ll be able to look back on the experience and say “I wish they hadn’t laughed so hard when I took off my shirt…”

Jerm