Damn Innuendo's

Good morning Internet machine,
Today, I am wearing a grey t-shirt with a stencil of my face painted on it. Why you ask? Because it makes me laugh. Now all I need is a moustache and a mirror and I’ll be in a fit of giggles all day. 
I found out yesterday that Billy Talent has a new album out and as I type this, I'm listening to it now. Also, Iron & Wine
has a new one out too and I’ll be listening to that one tomorrow…probably while I swing the axe, (My wife Carrie, seeing my new and improved Muscle’y forarms
, say’s “So that’s what you’re calling it these days? Swinging an axe?”) I like to think of it as treating myself as an Amusement park
, BUT swinging as axe sounds manlier….I think it’s a size
thing. Swinging a hatchet doesn’t sound as impressive. BUT needless to say, when I say I'm in the woods, swinging an axe, I’m hitting and pulling wood…..wait, I mean, I'm pulling logs and trying not to get sap on my hands….…wait…..(still sounds bad) I'm cutting and redistributing trees and tree parts.. DAMN Axe swinging innuendo….
I did a bit of drawing last night BUT have not brought it to scan…I forgot. I was thinking of scanning and posting a progression of the image but …meh, who knows. I’m almost forcing myself to draw these days and it’s a struggle, but it’s the same with writing...the only writing I do is on this blogger machine thingy. I’ll keep at it though..I need to have a consistency and something to focus on that’s not a television

jerm

Whiney Bitch

Good morning Internet,
So, how shall I begin my daily diatribe today? Positive? Quirky? Pet peeves? Yeah, let’s go with that one. One of my pet peeves is ……not having any pet peeves. DAMMIT, why can’t I be a whiney bitch about things like half of the world’s population. I mean, if I complained more I believe that I would get what I want, whenever I want, BUT Instead, I don’t complain about a whole hell of a lot and …I have everything I want….wait, that doesn’t work….? I have a beautiful wife and two great sons, a roof over my head, use of all my extremities…a great job, and great friends, an IQ of more then but not really equal to 87…I can read some and write a little, I can do maths AND remember to carry the two and have a healthy meal or two on a daily basis, I have holidays and great weekends, I can draw a little and have access to a whole slew of different varieties of music…I have a great pair of boots and a mean left hook. I'm not noticeably disfigured in any way at first glance and really am not a hideous fucking C.H.U.D in low lighting….. So..If I complained more….Would I get more? OR would I Lose most of it?
And that reminds me, how the holy do these Douchbags get away with it??

So last night, you guessed it, I wandered off into the woods again Axe slung over my shoulder, ear buds in place and began a chop-tastic adventure. GOOD times. I don’t fell healthy trees, it’s more cosmetic then anything. I take trees down that are dead but have not fallen, and take trees that have fallen and chop them into bite size pieces. IT’s rather cathardic….
jerm

Fly's arent a'scared of axe's.....TV lied to me.

Good morning Mr. Internet,

SO I suppose you want to know about my evening last night huh?? Nose'y bastards, HOWEVER, I’ll indulge your curiosity, BUT don’t think I'm this nice all of the time cause I’m NOT, and it’s not as though I have nothing better to do because I ….well, All’s I’m saying is that your probably here to hear about the latest celebrity gossip, like….Aqua is making a comeback? Or that Annie Leibovitz is Bankrupt, or maybe that celebs are against or for H8?? I don’t even know what the hell H8 is cause I didn’t read the article, just gleaned the headlines, BUT it must be good/bad if the celebs are talking about it….?

So yeah, last night, I trudged into the woods again with an Axe and hatchet and went to work. I was swinging those mutha Ucka’s like mad, HOWEVER, I think I was pissing of the the black fly’s and mosquito’s as they were attacking me. Ya ever see in cartoons when Bees swarm the silly dog because he dropped an anvil on their lil friend who was out drinking the night before and met what he thought were hookers but were undercover tranny cops.. Well, you know when the bees make shapes en mass and chase said anvil dropping dog… Well that was me in the woods, and let me tell ya…an axe is not a good way of getting rid of black fly’s….that’s all I’ll say. (and before you ask, NO they did not swarm into the shape of a sword or an axe and challenge me to a duel………)

Did some drawing last night, still working out the kinks as I don’t really know what I'm doing BUT here is the pic in question.

jerm

My day yesterday.

Good morning Mr. Google Machine,
Today, we shall talk about what?? Any thoughts?....Me? well, that’s none of your business.., no, but it was…Don’t call me that! I TOLD YOU..I DIDN”T EAT YOUR PEPPERONI!!! YA Dink!

So yeah, I did some drawing last night and it was good, not great but good. I came across this amazing artist on http://www.conceptart.org/ named Mike Butkis. (the peice on the left is inspired by his work) Wow, simply amazing artist, a banner that all artist should rally behind and learn from. I can’t get over his understanding of realism and anatomy. He’s a portrait artist, as well and an illustrator, as well as an amazing concept artist.. I’ll be watching his art for a long time. I have some of Smally's drawings as well....AMAZING stuff....

Also, in one of my sporadic whims and my forever need to get fit and in shape BUT never following though, I did some exercising last night. Now, I know what your saying, “Jeremy, you look great and awesome and you don’t need to exercise, maybe do a few sit ups once in awhile or maybe a push up or two….ok, and you may want to work on that gut and the muffin top, and your breathing seems really bad, and I see your developing some kankles, so the next thing will be a fronter where you look down in the shower and can’t see your dick….. SO Exercise huh? Good for you” I know your thinking that….

But yeah, I didn’t jog or go for a bike ride or do a push up, or even a sit up, I got an axe, some music, and went into the woods. I spent about an hour and a half just cleaning up the trails we have behind the house. Clearing up old dead logs, taking down dead trees, things like that… it was awesome….

So yeah….Same time Tomorrow??
jerm

Weekend synopsis

Good morning Mr. Blogger,
SO, what shall I impose upon you today….? Maybe how I’ve rediscovered Serj Tankian and Scars on Broadway’s albums yesterday and how I really loved them? OR how RIGHT NOW..Im listening to Staind’s new album hoping that it’ll be as good as their debut album? I could talk about how I got Steve Martin’s Banjo pickin album (yes the comedian) and it’s really good…if you like fiddelin and pickin grass roots music…yeah.


I’ll just give a brief synopsis of my weekend… Friday night……….I don’t really remember but I did mow some lawn, have some beers and jumped on some trampoline with some kind named Smally. Saturday I got to dig in some dirt and do some landscaping to make areas of the property more mow’able, and what else… Smally had a friend over, Nate, and they had some fun…you guessed it, on the trampoline. I tried a bike ride from Norton to Apohaqui. It’s about 20 km in total as the seagull flys so yeah… I did it and I’ll try it again as soon as my knee’s feel better and my ass doesn’t hut so much….. Sunday….Josh had a Cadet parade and aaward ceremony, it was awesome and won a trophy for either being really handsome or for being Too awesome… One of the two.


I didn’t draw this weekend BUT Smally did. He drew a Mario image that I forgot to bring to scan. BUT I’ll do it this evening as to not deprive all of his fans. BUT I’ll upload an old drawing of mine in the mean time.



until tomorrow

jerm

Ryans Studio

Remember a few weeks ago, I did a photo shoot because Ryan needed someone fat to pose for him, WELL, here are two images of the studio with 3 prints up.

Smally's Good time big fun drawing Mania

Good morning Mr. Blogger,


So, I got my drawing on with Smally last night and it was awesome. He drew a monster ravaging everything, poor lil blue people didn’t stand a chance after Smally gave the monster fire…. Poor poor bastards.



And I, as you may have guessed drew another monster guy/thingy/fella, BUT I didn’t draw his legs as I was unsure as to how I wanted them to look. Meh, if’s he’s gotten by this long with being an eater of all things meat, he can manage without legs….or can he…??? (insert suspenseful music here)


I think I’m gonna include some old art in here as well for no reason in particular, BUT what ones will I add?? With me there always seems to be a question with many choices. Should I add skulls? Should I add more monsters, Do I have anything that’s not either of the previously mentioned???? Shit, I don’t know…I drew a flower once many years ago.
Screw it, I’ll add skulls and monsters. You know it’s all FTW!


jerm

Drawing with Smally

K...where's that picture poster/maker button switch.....?

Good morning Blogger machine,
Well, let me see. I, last night, was again drawing. Can you believe it. After a few month drought, I’m back at it and let me tell you Blogger, it feel’s some good. I’m beginning to feel the onset of that right hand middle finger caulis, OH how I’ve missed it. It just feels so good to be back at it, sketching and scribbling in my lack-luster sort of way. So I drew a monster fella big guy thingy. I love working on anatomy, be it exaggerated or not, it’s just fun to feel the flow of the muscle and line weight fall out of your pencil.

My son Keelan and I are gonna rock out some images this evening and I can’t wait. I’ll have to post the fruits of our labor tomorrow. His and mine. He’s 8 years old and is already better then I was at 12. Keelan, who from here on out will be known as Smally, has a future in the trade. At 6 he understood perspective and now has a really good grasp of shading, (still working on highlights tho) Smally loves to draw more than me, BUT he loves the trampoline more, especially when I’m bouncing on it with him. Imagine it, my fat ass of 220 lbs and Smally’s 60 pound frame??? I make him bounce higher then I am tall and it’s funny as hell. He loves getting air, and you should see his front flips.

But yeah, I’m learning to draw, Smally is learning to draw and this blogger machine digital newspaper thingy may end up being about drawing more than writing which was my original plan… or maybe both?!?!!

Also…I’d like to give a big Shout out to MS WORD’s Spell checker. Your awesome and you help me make less mistakes.

Until tomorrow
jerm

Drawing and movies

Good morning Google Machine,
So what will the topic of interest be today?? Hmmm?? I could discuss the disgusting length my hair is getting? Hippy like in fact. I could talk about some movies I want to see this year such as,
“District 9” (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/district9/ )
OR “Must read after my death”
(http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/mustreadaftermydeath/ )
“Moon” (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/moon/ )
or…one more….
“Special” (http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/special )

These are def on my must watch list. They all look so good. District 9 puts an interesting view on prejudice and racism. “Must read after my Death” allows a look into decades of video and audio of family strife and resolve. But “Moon” and “Special” take a look at mental illness and the way the mind will fuck you over and piss on you while you’re venerable… Just watch the trailers I’ve linked to different Google machine pages.

SO, I did some drawing last night after a long slump/hiatus. I was chatting with my buddy Pat yesterday and ….he just has this knack for inspiring me to draw, or at the very least, planting the seed of interest. So I drew this monster/alien thingy and it turned out OK. It just felt good to draw. Like anything I do, by the end of it, I was sweating and out of breath…and my hand was cramped….funny, there was even a mess to clean up, but it was only eraser shavings.I’f I knew how to put pictures on the Blogger machine, I’d put it up for you all to ooooo and ahhhhh over, BUT I don’t know the secrets of it yet…
Till Tomorrow.
jerm

Wait...what does this button do...?

My 4 day weekend.

Good morning nobody in particular,How was your weekend? Mine you ask? Well, it was AWESOME.
Friday: Woke up early, Carrie and I went into town to pick up our rental, a Pontiac G5, not bad. The seats were bucket’y. I mowed some of the lawn, jumped on some of the tramampoline and had an all around good Friday.

Saturday: Hit the road for Halifax, made a few stops along the way, coffee, bathrooms and such. Got to Hali, checked into our room, dropped off our stuff, got into the elevator and there was a fella there. Red plaid pants, Black Wife beater and a Purple Top Hat. The randomness was staggering. We then got some food’eroo and then hit the tattoo convention. I felt like I had finally come home… Checked out the booths, Checked out artists, smelled some brandings going on, made me want BBQ, then stayed around for the Rob Hill Side show. It was more funny then anything. HE did the face skewer bit, the block head bit and his fire breathing was awesome. Had a boy of 6 staple a 5 dollar bill to his stomach. Good times.After that, we hit my buddy Steve’s for some BBQ and it was great. Good food, good people. That night Carrie and I hit a movie, Angels and demons, and then called it a night.

Sunday: Woke up, went for a stroll, hit the Freak Lunchbox and then made out way home.

Monday: Chilled out for a bit, Went to our good Friends Waylon and Kelly’s for some BBQ and had some laughs and some drinks and hit the road again for home. Relaxed the rest of the evening and here I am today…. Another work week…
Meh, see ya tomorrow.

Books and nothing

So, here we are, it’s Thursday, and Im off for 4 DAYS. Chill out on Friday, Tattoo convention in Halifax on Saturday, BBQ with my buddy Steve and the fam on Sunday, and Monday is still up in the air being a holiday and all. I am looking forward to the weekend tho. I look forward to getting into the “Freak Lunchbox”, the most wonderful confectionary store I’ve ever had the privilege of getting into, and also, Seeing what kind of jewelry they have at the convention. Excitement.

So yesterday, I mentioned that I’s maybe talk about books, and I know what your thinking..” Jeremy, you’ve changed your mind havn’t you?? YOU DINK!” But alas, I have not. It’s nice to see that you have so much faith in me. It’s YOU google machine that is the “Dink” as it were…are….is?! yeah.

SO, What do I like to read you ask? Well, it kind of runs the gambit of authors and genera. So I’ll just start with some Books that I really like shall I??
Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ’s childhood pal. By Christopher MooreThis is one of those books that makes you LOL and also, like movies, make you quote lines from it. You know how in the bible, Jesus goes from being a Kid to an adult in like one page? Well this fills in those 29 years that we miss out on.Jesus and Biff go on a search for the 3 wise men who had come to see him at his birth so he can learn how to become the savior. Really, to sum it up, 3 things: The creation of Sarcasm, Concubines, and Jesus and Biff become Kung Fu Masters….

World War Z: An Oral history of the Zombie war By Max Brooks (Mel Brooks’es son)This book is brilliant. Written as an oral history, it is the first person accounts of the survival of the Great Zombie Invasion. As it’s TOO much to write, but not something you should miss out on if your interested. Wiki has a shit load of stuff on it. Have a look at the cast for the audio book…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_Z

And one more…. Hmm…? Harry Potter? Septimus Heap? Artimus Fowl? LotR? Fight Club? or better Yet Survivor? Meh, who knows…BUT I have to get to work so I’ll see yas all on mon…no, Tuesday.

F*#kin mouth breathers

Good morning Google machine, I hope you slept well. Though I’m sure that you, being the internet machine would have a hard time sleeping, what with all the fuckin mouth breathers (ala Randall Graves), the drunken email sending and the query results for a wholesome Tiawana Donkey show. When Al Gore invented you, he should have thought of an off switch….BUT wait, Al Gore didn’t invent you?!?!, but he did invent global warming (so I read on a T-shirt and T-shirts don’t lie)

So the weekend is nearly upon us again, I really like how it reoccurs every 4 or 5 days, and this weekend is the Maritime tattoo convention. Should be a good do. My wife and I were lucky to get a room as there is the annual Bluenose marathon happening in Halifax this weekend too. I’ll be sure to post the results of the weekend and if I figure out the bloggy thingy, maybe a pic or two.

SO, while writing about having nothing to write about yesterday, I started to remember other old shows I loved watching as a kid. Let me lay some on you, see if your picking up what I’m putting down.

So first, I know you’ll remember “The Gummi Bears” I FUCKIN LOVED that show. I still know most of the theme song. I think I really liked those Disney cartoons, like Tailspin, Ducktails, but also other Classics such as Astro Boy (which was based in the year 2000), He-Man and G.I. Joe. I remember I use to watch when I first woke up two shows in particular. One was The Wizard of OZ cartoon that was done in the 60’s. that show was MESSED. But OH so good for a developing young mind.
Here’s the theme song for you..he he he

They're three sad souls, Oh me, oh my,
No brains, no heart, He's much too shy.
But never mind you three,
Here's the Wizard as you can see.
He'll fix that one, two, three
In that funny place called the world of Oz.

Oh the world of Oz is a funny, funny place
Where everyone has a funny, funny face.
All the streets are paved with gold,
And no one ever grows old.
In that funny land lives the Wizard of Oz.


.........................................My my my… my head is spinning…


Also, the Mighty Hercules…I still have that fawn Newton saying “Get him Hurc, Get him…”stuck in my head and it’s been like 25 years since I’ve seen that show.

These were the best shows to me as a 6 year old, back when animation was different, not all cartoons looked like American bastardised versions of Anime which floods the T.V box today. Those were the days.

But enough of that, I’ve got shit to do and pages to build. I think tomorrow, I’ll write about books. Or maybe later today.

YCDTOTV

SO the same ol. The same ol what you may ask? The same ol Overcast sky? No, the Same ol rainbow colored slinky sitting in my peripheral vision to the left? No. The same ol Jesus Christ car air freshener that smells like purification? No. …The same ol Same Ol? Well maybe? It’s the same ol same ol of what will I dazzle you with today? Well, dazzle is to strong of a word. I look at the word dazzle as though I’m watching a clown juggling 3 eggs and a pomegranate, blind folded while kittens in tutu’s circle him with cute little kitten sized torches in their mouths waiting for him to drop the 3rd smallest egg so they can blaze that fucker up…And the clown, known now at Sleeter, would be sweating and really ….really ….scared………………………he loved those kittens once upon a time.

I also attribute the word Dazzle with something like “Jazz hands” or that old show "Circle square ranch", both fucked in their own regard, but like a train wreck, you cant turn away. Do youse remember that show "Size small" with the old woman who whistled when she spoke and the dancing wagon wheel and dancing record? WTF? Or that show “The Poka dot Door”? Pokeroo was FUCKED. Come to think of it, allot of the shows we watched as kids were messed.

I really loved “You can’t do that on television” The Terry Gilliam inspired opening theme intro… The cast saying “I don’t know” and green slime would fall from the heavens and cover them. Or when they said the word 'water', the same effect but with water…not slime. I remember so many of those show’s and scenes.. There was one in particular that I always had to laugh over. The bathroom skits where the father would be finishing up and the kids would be forced to go in and try to survive the smell he left behind…well on one show, the boy, Adam Reid I think, said that there was no toilet paper left and complained to him mom. She in turn gave him 3-4 squares to use. He looked at her incredulously and said that “it was not enough” and “Mom” in her wisdom simply told him to use both sides….. NOW THAT WAS QUALITY CHILDRENS PROGRAMMING!

Here is a link to the page with the cast bio’s.
http://www.ycdtotv.com/cast/index.php?p=bios
Adam is directly below Les Lye “the man in the back” and Alanis Morissette is Bottom row, one to the right of the center if you care..

So back to my original question…What will I blogger thingy about today? Well, it's overcast today.

Well, I guess I have nothing. Maybe I will tomorrow?

A few things including a link to photos.

The weekend has come and left yet again, and yet again it found it pleasant and relaxing. Another Mother’s day has passed and gratitude and praise has been given to mothers all around the world. Speaking for myself and maybe one or two others, it really should be more then one day a year. Not only do mothers have to be patient, kind and understanding, they have to be disciplinarians, teachers and also have to put up with shitless lay about husbands. There is allot for a mother to shoulder and all we do is give them one day a year to show gratitude? BUT enough of my brownie point diatribe…

So as I mentioned, last week, I did a photo shoot and some of the many photo’s can be found here. http://shuttercreative.ca/jeremy (sorry about having to make you link to it, but I’m Google machine inept) They turned out OK, MIND you if Ryan Lavigne wasn’t such a good photographer, Im sure they’d look like shit.

This weekend, Im really looking forward to. My wife and I as well as some new friends are going to the Maritime tattoo festival (http://www.maritimetattoofestival.com/) I’ve not bee to a good tattoo festival for almost 10 years. It was the Down East tattoo convention in Portland ME. Good times. I think I had one small tattoo way back then. So cute. While there, I’ll be looking for a BRAND NEW 4 guage barbell for my septum as I believe I mentioned in my previous posts.

Well, not too much today so until tomorrow, or maybe later today… lata.

Photoshoot

SO just a short rare update today. Did the photoshoot last night with My buddy Ivon Gaudet and also Ryan Lavigne. IT was a really good time and when I figure out how to post images on Blogger, I’ll post some.

In the meantime, His website where you can view his work is http://www.shuttercreative.ca/Awesome stuff there. You’ll have to have a look.

Also, He introduced me to some new music. DJ Z-Trip. He’s a mash up artist like Girl talk but I’ve never heard him before. Really talented. Imma keep listening.

What keeps me sane through the day.

So…tonight’s the night, and no, not when the teddy bears have their picknick… When I break away from this humdrum 9-5 working existence and fly to the stratosphere…or should I say Status-phere. Modeling people….Modeling

Soon, I’ll join the ranks of Mr. Page 255 (item C) in the Sears 2008 Fun in the sun catalogue. From there I could go on to grace the alternate images for a slightly bigger, but not as widespread parent company magazine. After that, I’ll get various offers to be in local leaflets and maybe a pamphlet or two, BUT by that time, I’ll have let the fame go to my head and have turned them all down as they will be beneath me, I’ll develop a pixie stick addiction, shower even less then I do now and finally grace the pages of the National enquirer as the poster boy for hemorrhoid medication. I should get an agent to bail me out of jail when the time comes….But really…I’ll probably just have new nice photos for avatars on my blogger page or a sexy Christmas card to send to my mom.….

So today, I want to share with you something of my everyday. The internet machine and the places I visit daily. These sites make me smile and laugh and when possible …think.
First…
http://digg.com/As per the site….”Digg is a place for people to discover and share content from anywhere on the web. From the biggest online destinations to the most obscure blog"

http://pictureisunrelated.com/Various WTF pictures and funnily enoughs.

http://thisisphotobomb.com/Random people sneaking into photo’s of strangers

http://www.allornothingtattoo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2158A forum of people posting bad tattoo’s. Start at page one and just go from there. Be sitting as some are hilarious.

http://www.daisyowl.com/One of the best online comics I’ve ever read..and YES, I have read Penny arcade.

http://failblog.org/My hourly staple. I love this site so much, BUT there’s more. Along the top where it say’s “more lol’s” you can look at cute dogs and cats, funny news thingy’s and engrish goodness.

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
Now as I am in the “biz”, I love looking at photoshoped work that people fuck up so badly that it’s gets posted to a whitty blog.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
Updated every Sunday, there is some very beautiful and sad stuff here that strangers are sharing with the world. It really makes you appreciate what you have.

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead or undead, is purely coincidental.

What will I be doing this month...?

So my non-existent, faithful readers, what shall it be today? What will today’s following words mean in the end? Will their meaning reveal some lost parable or insight? Will you, in your non existence, after reading them find solace and gratitude and a sudden emergence into existence yelling Physics be dammed, I’m here, I’m quee….wait, wrong chant. But you get my meaning……….or do you? (Queue sinister music….NOW)

I’ll, I guess, just let you know what I have coming up over the next little while..? Shall I? SO to leave off from my post yesterday, tomorrow I’ll do my first modeling gig. (I guess I can’t really call it that as I’m just standing in a studio, having my photo taken. If that were the criteria for modeling, I’d have burst into the biz at 3 after I had my $5.99 Special, Sears photos taken, or when I was one or two and had my photo’s taken in the back of a van. I’m not even kidding, it was like this Mobil photo studio. Pretty state of the art for 1979…..actually…I think I saw that guy from that van on Datelines “To catch a predator…” meh.

Next weekend, I’m hitting Halifax for the maritime Tattoo convention ( http://www.maritimetattoofestival.com/ ). Should be a really good time. I hope to see allot of great art as well as pick up some new jewelry. I’m in the market for a new 4 gauge barbell for my septum. Fun’il’y enough, I lost my other barbell I had for my septum IN HALIFAX last year at the bluenose marathon… I feel the planets aligning.

Your gonna laugh here BUT……Im trying to read New Moon( well, listen to the audio book) . The second book in the twilight series (I even have the Cullen family crest wristband) and it’s boring as hell… I feel I should be embarrassed for telling you this… moving on.

What else…….?

The book I’ve written, well it’s a journal about an insane asylum back in 1880’s from the view of one of the doctors…Well, I’ve had a tickle slap of inspiration. I’m going to write a sequel, but it’ll be a narrative….mind you, I’ve been playing around with the thought of first person...but I’m still unsure.

I guess that’s it for now…..let me leave you with some one else’s words…
“Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster”
.

Something to make you LOL

So what will it be today? Again, in this attempt to hone and re-develop my writing skills, I’ll try to add a snippet here about my daily comings and goings. I sit here with my Large double double, thinking, but not really being thoughtful of my goings on’s yesterday. I did what I do every day. The same ol humdrum existence of an IT worker….EXCITING.

I could start with me coming up with a new book I want to begin, but as it’s still in the conceptual stages, I’ll not share it just yet, (but really…who reads this.) I could also go into candid detail about trying to find a cool and useful commuter bag as I need a new one really bad, BUT there is very slim pickin’s here in the little burb that is Saint John.

But I’ll start here. My good friend Ivon sent me an email yesterday asking me if I’d be interested in …..are you sitting down and ready for a laugh?... good….. Modeling. I can’t even type that out without giggling. I mean…COME ON!!!!, I’m devastatingly handsome..BUT COME ON!!!! But the ting was he was serious. (he he) So the email read..

“I have a friend that needs a male model with a bit of an edge... tattoos and such..You up for it? ... he needs an image for his studio to balance out the images on his wall...Lets just say he has on too many women on the wall....
I was thinking a shot of you ... showing your back looking over your shoulder... B&W...Anyways... he is a wizard with photoshop....”


So after being flattered a little, I really gave it some thought… and you know how famous artists go through various stages in their creativity?” working with different mediums, styles, subject matter? Picaso and his blue period? Jackson Pollock and his “Action Painting” or Pierre-Auguste Renoir and his lengthy period of Impressionist style, (mind you that was his main style but it was as I had said…a lengthy period) Well I think the photographer is going through one of those periods.

I’m thinking that it is his fat period. He may call it “Fat with an edge”
BUT needless to say, it should be interesting. I’ve never modeled with a professional before (I know what you saying..”BUT jerm…you so handsome, you’ve got to be kidding us???” ) Well Im not. And I haven’t. It's a good thing as Ivon says "he's a wizard in photoshop". I'll get him to add muscles and remove flaws and add a bigger ....erm...wait...so yeah...where was I...

SO Yeah, I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out and hopefully this time next year I’ll be able to look back on the experience and say “I wish they hadn’t laughed so hard when I took off my shirt…”

Jerm

A bit of my prologue

Well in my last post, I mentioned that I’ll post a bit of a book I was working on. Well, I found something, But it’s now what I was looking for exactly. I doubt anyone reads this anyway, so dark void of the Google machine…. Enjoy.


Prologue



A dark soft candle should be your mindset for the divine, macabre journey that you've embarked upon. Delving into the art of a Master painter or a blood and urine soaked canvass of a patient whose guiding lights are the voices in his head, directing his hand. The Devils plaything? Or the art of a higher divinity needing to express a thought or a moment that is solely their own?
I have no name, but there are some who call me Odium, Fault or Ire. To some also, I am known as Hate or to others insight or inspiration.
I revel in despair and haunt the agony of the desperate and depressed. Filling their mind's with untruth and chaos. Turning them into someone, or something, like myself. It is for this reason that I journey through the Gallery Angelo's. A sort of affirmation of what has happened, what is happening and what may come to pass.
For myself, I view this place as a shrouded house of angst, a veiled home for my own personal sorrow and unhappiness. If I could cry, torrents of anguish would be set loose upon the great unwashed. But I cannot.
Instead, I articulate my own animus and sorrow through writing, music, or art. All painstakingly done through the medium of other creators. I am a muse of mal du siecle. However, the pious imagery that I've inspired through the centuries is my most precious. The ethereal divinities, be they good or bad, Seraphim or Succubus, I adore only these, as they are all I have.
The galleries have been visited by many. Some become enamored with what they find and experience, while others become terrified with some drawn to madness, and death. It is always these instances where I feel utter bliss.

Here, this place, Is like an angry voice that keeps us quiet. It keeps my sweet confessions beneath my tongue. These walls adorned with the victorious divine are like my children, born in Sodom, raised in Gomorra. Grown into men and women raised on the rod with a whip in hand.
The corridors fill me with certain trepidation that I long for and miss when the doors are shut, but upon them being open, I'm afraid that this place will devour me.

Through all of the galleries that I have created, the Gallery of Suicide, the Gallery of Decompose, or the Gallery of Rage, none can compare to this. The Gallery, my Gallery, brings meaning to this sorrow filled void that I've made my home. The savagery saturates into the walls and the floor, enveloping all who venture fourth to view the cadaverous divine. Wonderfully transcendent effigies given through me to those who needed them. Be it good or bad, they were needed.
Amassing such a collection of rapturous portrayals has been daunting but for the joy they bring me and the grief they brought to others, all was worth it.

On writing..

Again, here I am, and yet again, I pose the question of what will I bloggy thingy about today?!?! I really should be more prepared. Give it a little more thought perhaps? Well let me see, what are my options today?

I could write about the joy I get out of working in Photoshop?? OR how much I like funny buttons with witty sayings, like “Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?” OR will I go to hell for having a Jesus car air freshener hanging under my monitor here at work? (Smells like purification.) Hmmmmmm, quite a quandary.

SO I’ll again forgo the pre conceived notions above and write about ….writing. (I had an Austin Powers redundancy moment there…Allow myself to introduce….myself.)

So with writing, like so many others…I’ve hit a block, well actually, allow me to rephrase …a wall, wait, one more time…..the wall hit me, and when I was down, bleeding what was left of whatever creativity I had, it shit on my back with the Awesome power of persuasion and forced me NOT to write. (As you can tell my previous sentence…its working.) However, I have a potential plan to remedy that.

I may be going to Toronto in a week or so for 2-3 weeks to do some Quality Assurance work for my company and while I’m not working, I think I’ll lock myself away in my hotel room and write a book. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Jeremy, you couldn’t write a book in a few small weeks, why don’t you settle for writing out a chapter or two, or maybe a chronology…?”
I figure If I set my standards high, I’m more liable to follow through as I really hate letting myself down. But If I don’t get a whole book written, and maybe only a few chapters or something… well ya know what…at least I’ve gotten some writing done and I’ll have grown in that light.

My Buddy Pat and I are still waiting for our Agent to get our book to the publishers to get picked up, BUT that’s been going on for over a year now so I have no hope for it happening in the future. I think you can see what it will look like here http://www.101industries.ca/frames.html

p.s. I think my next entry may be a excerpt from that book…. Stay tuned.

my second bloggy thingy on the google machine from May 30th

Now with trying to keep up with this blog thingy on the Google machine, I look at it as an opportunity to try to build upon my writing skills, wait, build upon is too strong of a statement, create my writing skills would be more apt.

So what shall I blog upon today? What are my options…? I could try to describe the way the mist hung upon the river in the chill frost this morning while I was having a smoke? OR I may web log about how I LOVE Iron & Wine and Samuel Beam is a lyrical genius that evokes thoughts of small town farming communities and living off of the land with the one woman you love more than your own heart beat. Maybe beards and how they, at first are strange, itchy and foreign, but after a while grow on us?...

Today I will write about my desire and plight to become a tattoo artist.
For the past 15 years I’ve flirted with the idea of one day becoming a world renowned tattoo artist with thoughts of sharing my passion with the world one fleshy canvas at a time. A tattoo artist who does not become jaded or dis-enchanted like so many elitist artist I’ve read so much about… But I’ve yet to begin.

I’ve apprenticed for a few talented artists here and there, read a slew of information on various aspects of the craft, watch hours of video’s on technique and procedures but have yet to find the time or money to begin what I long to do. Just buying the gear is easy but learning about BBP’s (blood borne pathogens) and cross contamination as well as proper sterilization and machine tuning is something one can only learn from a seasoned professional. Time is the biggest investment, and while living 30 min from a city in a small rural community, having a full time job and family it seems like a pipe dream.

I’ll make it work, but I just have to make the time.

My April 29th FIRST bloggy thingy

So….I think im gonna try this new(ish) bloggy thingy, Though, where do I begin, what shall I “blog” about? My lackluster art skills?, me actually having hair for a change? My deep sultry desire to become a tattoo artist (lackluster of course) or the vegetable garden I want to plant this spring?.....The thing I found in my teeth?......
I just don’t know, I’m at a loss.
Fuck it, I’ll write about new music I’ve heard within the past 3 or 4 days….. SO,
White Lies: Amazing. 80’s Brit Pop feel made for today and they're actually from the UK. I really love their sound and hope they pump out the music faster then I can listen to it….
Röyksopp: As per their website…”is an electronic and chillout music duo based in Bergen, Norway.” And all the means really is that their foreign and badass. So yeah. Kinda like Mogwai meets Bonobo? Maybe? Im diggin it.
Let me see…
Bat for Lashes: She is phenomenal. Similar in parts to Tori Amos, but without all of the drama and melancholy. (I all of the sudden want Melon’s and cauliflower. Mmmmmm Melons

Also, not new to me BUT….
Bill Withers is my 70’s soul GOD. I mean….Who can listen to “Aint no sunshine” without saying to themselves…”Yeah, I’m a Caucasian male between the ages of 18 and 35 and I’d fuck him” you know… if your into the sorta thing…and……………um…ahem… HEY, THAT DOG HAS A PUFFY TAIL!!!!!